Schemes of ROMANCE Red
by Rudy Clone
Summary: This is a rewritten and BETTER version of that dumb story Schemes of Red by Flareonwolf! There's no romance in that so I thought that writing a NEW and IMPROVED version of the story would be...more appropriate. So read for RudyxPenny GREATNESS! AND I HAVE PERMISSION TO DO IT SO HA. Summary: an evil person with a secret admirer is after Rudy and Penny to separate them! OH THE WOE!
1. Chapter 1: Out of the Blue

Schemes of Red

Chapter One: Out of the Blue

Author's notes: HIIIII EVERY1 Kiss kiss hug hug this is Rudy Clone signing on. I hope you enjoy my superioer story. It's WAY better than the stupid other BORING one so just enjoy it ok? Ok good! HERE IT IS! Don't forget to revieuw at the end!11!

_Blush. Blush._

A shuffle sounded as a figure walked into a wall. He muttered something grudgingly and then returned to a table in the middle of the room.

_Blush. Blush. _

Another figure looked at him through sunglasses. It was so dark in the room that he didn't need sunglasses, but he thought himself "cool" and wore them anyway.

_Blush. Blush._

The figure from the first paragraph removed an envelope from under the table and eerily placed it on the table eerily slightly. The second one looked at him and then put his hand on the envelope, but the first one put HIS hand on it, which was not a hand...it was a drill and it drilled into the envelope by mistake. He pretended not to notice. "It is time..." he said, and then his cloak fell off. Nobody seemed to care even though he was only wearing underwear (with jelly beans on them!). Then he took the letter out with his hands (once I knew a person who was really skilled and so this person is skilled and even though his hands are drills, he can still do it okay!) (Oh and sorry for this bit. it's a bit BORING because me and Penny aren't in it BUT DON'T WORRY! We'll come in soon so just wait. I know you're itching for as much romance as me and Penny are, but I'll get to it trust me the wait is worth every penny... GET IT?! AHHAHHAAHAOHOHOHO!) and then gave the envelope to the other person who framed it on the wall, and then returned.

_Blush. Blush. _

The creature who was only wearing underwaear read the letter carefully aloud. "Dear Dude. I am the girl from down the road who loves you and I am your secret admirer! Love, your secret admirerer. xoxoxo"

_BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH_

The creature was so embarrassed that he fainted and the other one had to rush to his side and reach down. Then he picked up the letter and got it laminated and then framed it and put it on the wall next to the envelope.

The creature who was so embarrassed that he fainted got up and went over to another wall, which he called his Hate Wall. All the hate in the world was put into this wall which was why he called it the hate Wall. (He's the bad guy in case you couldn't tell!) Then he looked on his Haate Wall. There was a picture of a boy and a girl. He had been told by someone (he couldn't remember who but knew that this person wore yellow clothing and shot fireballs at people and he's super evil.) that they were in love but couldn't admit it to each other, and he wanted to break them apart.

Ther was also another picture on his wall and that was of Snap , who he had been told was completely useless and Snap needed to die! But he didn't want to focus on snap he wanted to focus on Rudy and Penny because they were in love and they needed to be SEPARATED. And thus began his endeavour of destruction!

**fff**

"Oh...it's Friday," said Snap, the white and blue Zoner created by eight year old Rudy to be the most annoying person in existence. (Oh and Penny also though that because she agrees with everything Rudy says of course because they have extremely powerful crushes on each other!) He went and flew a plane into a random tree sticking out of the Future Dome and annoyed a squirrel. He was totally bored because there was nothing to do, so he went to go talk to some cacti. He was waiting for Rudy to come into ChalkZone but then he stopped and waited but nothing happened so he kept walking. Then suddenly...he felt a strange tingle. He felt so weird all around and then he glitched to where Rudy's portal was a second before Rudy entered ChalkZone.

"Why are you always there?" Rudy asked but Snap only looked at him.

"Rudy, can you please draw me ice cream?" Snap pleaded, getting to his knees after Rudy refused. He kicked Snap and looked up to Penny. She was climbing down the ladder and she threw her backpack to him. Instead of catching it, it fell on Rudy and he got squished, but then he was fine and Penny jumped down from the ladder. She landed on the ground and took the backpack, but then Rudy snatched it back.

"NO! Let _me _carry it, Penny!" he insisted, and she blushed.

"Ok," she said and then they walked away from Snap.

But Snap was annoying so he came back and said, "Aren't we going to the Red Desert?"

Rudy and Penny turned to him and Snap gasped for no reason. "Yes," Penny said. She sneered at Snap, who got offended and sneered back.

"Rudy can we get ice cream first?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No," said Rudy.

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?" Snap asked, and stood in front of Rudy. Rudy rolled his eyes.

"Fine. But we're not getting ice cream; we're getting tacos!" Penny cheered and cheered and Snap cheered and cheered. Then they went to go find tacos growing on plants.

**fff**

Bicloop entered the Magic Chalk Mine with a wheel barrow and began to clean out the magic chalk mine, and thought back to all the times when the red chalk had been used for evil, like when Reggie attacked. He emptied barrow after barrow until there as nothing left in the chalk mine. "This is how it should be!" he said and sat down. As he started eating the chalk (he eats chalk you know, the show just doesn't show it) he began to think back to Rudy and Penny. Miraculously he didn't think of the strange feelings that Rudy had said he had been getting for her, and instead talked to himself about the red chalk. "Who likes red chalk? It tastes bad anyway."

He had been able to control the red chalk drawings that Rudy drew sometime ago by threatening to eat them if they caused any more trouble, so they stopped causing trouble and they became his pets, but one day after sleepwalking, he want for a wander and he ate them all up. When he woke up, he was munching on the window with teeth and quickly ate the rest of it, but it left a bad taste in his mouth. So he ate more red chalk but that didn't seem to help. After that Bicloop felt very, very woed.

They wanted to get rid of the red chalk so Rudy had come up with the idea of a magical machine that mashed up the red chalk, but Bicloop had insisted on another method: he was going to EAT all the red chalk! Rudy didn't object and instead he stood by and watched Bicloop eat it, and then he got a rash on his ear so he stopped.

Anyway, he got back to work and started to sing a song to himself. "I love the magic chalk and I love to eat it too. It's fun for you and it's also fun for me, too." Then he realised that he rhymed "two" with "two" but forgot about it and went back to cleaning out the magic chalk mine.

**fff**

"Oh woe is us!" Penny shouted as she put a hand on her forehead dramatically. She coughed a few times and spat up a hairball, to which Rudy just gazed lovingly. Snap didn't understand though, so he looked on with anger.

"We have to get rid of these animals!" Rudy shouted.

Around them were several tiny metal dragon creatures that Rudy had named Kikis. They had reminded him of a hamster he had once called Kiki, so he named them that.

"Here, do you want light?" Rudy asked, and he threw a torch into their midst. They all were repelled and ran away, and Penny collapsed, drained from the emotional hardship. She was tired from all that worrying that the dreaded Kikis would bite her and she was frightened. Snap only stood there laughing while Rudy bend down by her side and cradled her in his arms.

"Shut up, Snap!" he yelled, but Snap didn't listen, and continued to jeer at the fallen girl.

"Hahahaha, she's crazy! Crazy, I tell you! Just listen to her." He began rolling on the floor laughing, and Rudy growled, telling him that he would never draw him ice cream every again if he continued, but Snap was too incompetent to have ears so he didn't hear so Rudy grounded him. Snap was sad.

"Are you ok, Penny?" Rudy asked, stroking her face like a creeper.

She stroked his face and felt butterflies in her stomach as she stared up at him, imagining him in some prince-like outfit. It was so romantic and dramatic that she forgot where she was and who she was...and then she forgot who Rudy was and her face turned to disgust. Rudy dropped her when he noticed...and he turned away, casting his forlorn glance to the ground.

"Look, Penny...you've changed." (If you have sad music, play it now!)

Penny only looked to him weirdly. "Who are you?"

"You've just...CHANGED, Penny but...I can't explain why. You just HAVE." He ignored her as she looked to Snap and signalled to Rudy, and Snap just shrugged. (Ok you can stop the music now!)

"Rudy, I don't—" Suddenly she had remembered his name! She was happy and then they gazed into each other's eyes.

Snap broke them up and said, "Uhh...look." He pointed to NightZone where there was a broken streetlight.

"Let's go!" yelled Rudy and they went.

In NightZone, they roamed the streets and found that most of the shops had been ravaged and destroyed. A lot of their insides were blown about the room and there was hardly anything that was intact anymore. There were coughing streetlamps and one whispered to Snap, but Snap had no ears (just like he has no nostrils) so he didn't hear. Instead Penny heard and approached. The streetlight said, "I can see you have feelings for the Great Creator."

Penny gasped. "Is it really that obvious?" she asked worriedly, glancing down at her t-shirt, which had "I heart Rudy" all over it. She then looked to her Rudy head shoes and felt her hair, which she had styled after Rudy's hair. "I think you're seeing things that aren't there. MEIOSIS MITOSIS!" she yelled, and the streetlamp looked at her weirdly.

"Wow...your smart!"

"HELP ME!" yelled someone else nearby, and everyone ran into the shop. (The streetlamp tried but he was too tall so he smacked his head on the top of the doorway and falled so hardly.) There was a red robot in a bubble and Rudy popped it. he got soaked in water and so did Penny, and Rudy thought she looked HAWT with wet hair!

"Thanks," the robot said. He was rusty and red, and had rust everywhere and he was made of red metal. His head looked like a coffee maker. He started taking pictures of Rudy and penny together and said that they needed to pay him fifty dollars, so Rudy drew forty three and gave it to him, but he actually had no pictures so he gave the fake camera to Snap. "Now I have a story to tell you." He said and everyone gathered around. He started to tell them a story. "Today the Kikis attacked. They all came into our shops and threw bombs which exploded everywhere while they started to complain about their parents not being there. Then they force fed us sushi...but the thing was...it was a month old!" Everyone gasped, including the street light, who was still on the ground outside. "And even worse... They had laxatives in them!"

"Laxatives?!" Rudy exclaimed, shocked.

"In your sushi?!" Penny exclaimed, shocked.

"GAPS!" Snap shouted, shocked.

"These Kikis have to be stopped!" Rudy yelled, and began to storm around like a soldier for no reason.

"I think I know how to make them friendly..." Penny began and grinned maliciously. Everyone cocked their eyebrows (they didn't have six like she did) and stood for a minute. They continued staring are her and she shrugged. "Well I'm not going to TELL it to you! Sheesh!" and then Rudy turned to the robot.

"Here, this is parting gift," he said and drew him a coffeebot. They left and the coffeebot offered the robot coffee.

"Would you like decaf?" it said, and the robot said,

"Why...yes!"

**fff**

They were surrounded by Kikis again! They had gone into their hideout which was in a building and were shocked to find that they had an enormous stash of month-old sushi filled with laxatives. They had even found special fridges that kept other ingredients for the sushi in them, but ran away once the metal dragons had found them, and ran for it! Snap tripped over several times and got lost in the crowd so it was just Rudy and Penny. They stood together as the Kikis surrounded them and braced themselves, biting down and hoping with all of their heart that their crushes would be enough. However, neither of them wanted to admit it, and they didn't even...hold hands.

Instead Penny befriended the Kikis and then after a day they stopped being friends, and they ended up back in the same spot. Anyway Rudy drew a gun to be really mature and shot all the Kikis, and they all fell to the ground with collapsed lungs. Then he drew police and they collected them up.

From the shadows, magical creatures started watching them with observatory eyes. One of them snickered to the other as they watched the Kikis being rounded up and into the hospital (Rudy would have taken them to a real world hospital but he was too lazy) where Rudy and Penny went to go lie down next to a Kiki on every bed to delay their surgery. Snap meanwhile, was doing something nobody cares about and I dunno, he had coffee with the rusting red robot or something.

Little did everyone know...Rudy and Penny weren't going to be together for long...

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT! It's WAY better than the original one (take that French Bob!) so yes. Don't worry, the timesing will come in soon so stay tuna!

- Rudy Clone.


	2. Chapter 2: Purple Craze

_**Author's notes:**____Rudy Clone here! I couldn't __**stand **__knowing that there were more chapters of that horrid Schemes of CRAPPY STORY than of my superior, lovable ROMANTIC version! Anyway, enough rambling. SHUT YOUR EYES AND READ IT ALREADY!_

Schemes of ROMANCE Red

Chapter two: Purple Craze

Penny ran off dramatically when she saw that Rudy was talking to another girl. She was so devastated that she thought she might want to go to the bathroom...alone. Rudy had learned of her plan and pursued her at the speed of light, unfortunately too slow, however, as she ran into a store. There, a Kiki was dissolving in real water. Rudy gasped and ran up to the Kiki, but he was too late.

"Rudy!" yelled Penny, pointing to the water bottle.

"Penny!" he shouted back, pointing to her face. She had a beetle on it so he squished it and wedged it into her ear.

"Snap!" Snap yelled from behind, but they ignored him because he was SO self centred for saying his own name. It wasn't because he was some kind of third wheel, and thus the only character of their group to miss out on any sort of physical contact, a friendly conversation or just plain notice, as apparently those things were far too much to ask for, and therefore Snap was forced to resort to some kind of harmless mention of his own name in the hopes of possibly achieving some attention, which he duly deserved, but clearly the universe didn't think he deserved it at all because he wasn't in love, and to be in love was the meaning of _life_, even if Snap just had a crush (he has a big crush on Rapsheeba!) instead of being in love, even thought that was a start, but that would be his only reason for use and the only valid reason he could have for living at all, which he found pretty weird, but he only found it weird because he wasn't in love, and needed to be to know its full potential for endless greatness, just like Rudy and Penny's never-ending, amazingly perfect love. Even though they were ten.

Rudy redrew the Kiki and magically it was the same one as earlier, with no differences and the same memory, despite it being a different entity entirely. "There. Good as new." He looked at Penny, who gazed lovingly back. As he walked out the door, she stared after him, admiring his shoes like they were pieces of shining test tubes.

"Myyy heeero!" she grinned, putting two hands clasped to her cheek.

The Kiki looked at her and barked, and Penny ate a lemon nearby. The sourness made her fly like a bird for three seconds. She looked down sadly.

"I can't fly..."

"Woe is bird," the Kiki muttered, and Penny looked up. The Kiki looked Penny in the eye, and the girl suddenly got the need to stalk this creature all the way back to its house. The Kiki pulled out something from a ruffle of metal feathers. She looked at Penny eerily and held out a container. "Do you want some...sushi?"

Penny's eyes lit up. She loved sushi. However, she remembered the shopkeeper's words about the Kikis forcing sushi that was...a month old...down their throats. It was a horrible thought, and Penny didn't know how they could do it to innocent people! THE HORROR!

"PENNY!" yelled Rudy and burst in. Penny looked up dramatically and Rudy began to slip on banana peels. Snap ate the skin. "I'LL SAVE YOU!" He yelled again, and he and Penny shared a moment of...OF...

"Hurry the heck up!" Snap shouted in his obnoxious, _unbearable _voice and his _annoying _accent. It made a nearby piece of rubber split into five straws of hay.

Rudy Clone lost all motivation to live after losing that precious moment with Penny...and ran out crying, flailing his arms about and shouting songs of heartache, leaving her and Snap to the Kiki. Penny was deeply hurt, and hurled flaming pitchforks at Snap until he rode away on a horseshoe and followed Rudy, asking for ice cream. Penny ran up tot he (tot he is way more original than anything French Bob could come up with!) Kiki and hugged it. "Oh Kiki! Will you be my friend?"

"Yes," the Kiki said, "but call me something different. PLEASE. I have a freaking hamster's name."

Then some unimportant stuff happened and Snap rode a scooter. But he was _so _incompetent that the wheel tripped up on a rock and he flew over the front, smashing into the ground and breaking several of his lungs.

Then Dude appeared in the bushes... "Those _brats_," he hissed, glaring at them from afar. He had taken French Bob stalking lessons (UGH, FRENCH BOB. I don't know WHY anyone would choose to have French Bob stalking lessons over coming to MEEE for romance advice...only IDIOTS who want to break me and Penny's love apart!) and watched the group from afar. He neglected the newspaper bit though, so Lars saw him and approached!

"Are you an escaped prisoner?" he asked, and Dude only cocked an eyebrow.

"Don't be ridiculous! Do I SERIOUSLY look dangerous to you?" he asked, showing him both drill-like hands. His expression was mad; he looked like a cereal killer.

"Nope," Lars answered slightly and yawned. When he looked back, Dude had disappeared! Then he saw a hole in the sky not far above, and figured that he must have Bigweld Floor Drilled his way through the sky. Apparently it worked, and he dropped back down moments later, when Lars had turned his back and began to sail in the wind using his tail (it inflated with helium). So Dude watched as the tension grew between Rudy and Penny. They kept sharing anxious looks, as if one was trying to tell the other something important that would take up the entire focus of the story for no good reason other than the author's weird obsession with ten year old love, but kept getting interrupted. He didn't care much for romance (BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT!1!) so he wanted to tear them apart so badly that he drew a picture of a powdered spleen.

Suddenly, a guy on a muffin tray appeared! "ANSWER MY THREE QUESTIONS, LADS...OR YE SHALL NOT GET MY POT OF GOLD," the creature announced, and Dude facedrilled (he actually drilled a hole through his face). This...was a sad day for Dude.

"Why should we?" Penny demanded, turning to her Kiki. "Spidge and I say that you should eat rats and cockroaches!"

"Spidge?" questioned the muffin guy, who looked like a muffin.

"Yeah," Penny responded defensively. "It's an abbreviation for my Kiki's name."

"What's your Kiki's name?" everyone asked simultaneously. Penny only shook her head and gave a huffy sigh.

"Special Fridge! _Hello_!"

Suddenly a yellow girl came running up, flailing her arms like Rudy had when he chucked that tantrum. She ran around in circles, smacking them all in the face until she stopped waving her arms and came to a heaving halt. They all watched as she tried to catch her breath, but her breath was too fast and it escaped. She collapsed like a deflated lung.

The muffin man only stared at her and raised an eyebrow. Snap said, "We do NOT know her. I swear."

Then Snap got booted from the story because he swore. But he was so incompetent that he couldn't even leave, so he gtliched back in. "How many times have I told you, Snap?" Rudy began, "Your annoying voice is driving me mad! So stop talking!"

"Yeah," Penny agreed. Snap cried.

"ANYWAY!" yelled the muffin man from above. "I am...the Proud! Because I am so darn good that I can be proud of everything I do. And no, I am not Rudy Clone in a character! Shut up and focus on Rudy and Penny!"

Rudy and Penny looked to one another in confusion. "Huh?"

"What are you doing here?" Snap questioned, finally useful for once. Rudy rolled his eyes.

"Well," the Proud began, "because I have your precious...banana cake recipe!" he boomed, then howled in amusement. "Oh, and Rapsheeba's my hostage." Snap gasped so loudly that a car alarm went off, and then Rudy yelled, "WHAT?" because that was HIS thing, and set off an alarm as well.

"BUT THAT'S MY RECIPE!" shouted Snap with a lot of incredulousness. He grated his teeth against each other and called out in anger, beating his chest like a gorilla.

Penny stared at him. "What about RAPSHEEBA?" Penny yelled. Penny ran up to Snap and told him he was useless. "You're useless," Penny shouted. Then Penny explained the seriousness of a kidnapping to Snap. "Kidnapping is serious, Snap," Penny told him.

"I know that!" Snap yelled. "That's why I want it back!"

"It?" Penny wondered.

"Yes! My recipe."

Penny always knew Snap was a heartless jerk. Only a heartless jerk would want a banana cake recipe over Rapsheeba! "Don't you have a giant crush on her that takes up most of your time?"

Snap laughed so hard that he coughed up that red stuff, which poured all over the floor. He cleaned it up with a sponge. Then he stopped laughing. Then he listened to his heart. "Snap, I am your heart," the heart thumped. It didn't have a voice; it communicated with Snap using Morse code. "And I am a horse."

Snap didn't understand Morse code very well, so his heart probably wasn't a horse, but he forgot about that and looked back at the Proud, realising he did, in fact, have a giant crush on Rapsheeba. "Give us back Rapsheeba!" he yelled. But the Proud only laughed.

"Why should I? I'm _proud _of my work!" he gurgled.

"Because," Rudy stepped in, "It's inhumane!"

The Proud considered this and stopped laughing. He hovered in midair, his muffin tray still suspended. "...Fine. I'll think about it." He flew away. (And ran into that same tree sticking out of the Future Dome.)

But Snap was serious. He was so obsessed with his love for Rapsheeba that he forgot all about his banana cake recipe. "Let's go, guys."

So Penny followed, with Spidge and Rudy. Rudy was gazing lovingly at her with his hands clamped, but Penny didn't notice. Rudy opened his hands and saw a little sushi. However, he saw laxatives drop out of it and looked to the Kiki. He frowned, and Spidge gave him a chuckle with a MEAN (not as mean and obnoxious as SNAP, of course) grin.

Rudy stopped. He contemplated what he saw and felt his heart beginning to break. Was...was that Kiki taking up Penny's life? Because she had a new friend, did that mean that...he was...not important anymore? Did no longer matter? Did Penny even have any love left for him?! He panicked, a million different reasons rushing through his head. He knew one thing. He had to get rid of that Kiki. It was standing...in the way.

**fff**

Meanwhile, Zonver was doing his hair. "Did you hear?" he asked, and the hairdresser shook her head. "PENNY has replaced RUDY with a Kiki!"

Both laughed until the cows came home, and then Zonver got serious and wanted to get into Rudy's room. So he burrowed under the ground and arrived without being seen, and then rushed up the steps. Nobody saw him, and therefore, he was unseen because nobody saw him.

"Time to summon more Kikis..."

_**Author's notes:**____You obviously enjoyed that. And everything makes sense! OCK? Ok. _

_Now, go ahead and beg like Snap Clone for another chapter. _

_- Rudy Clone. _


	3. Chapter 3: Turning Over Stones of Grey

_Author's notes: __I really don't have anything of importance to say, but author's notes are so much fun so I wanted to say... HE HA!_

Chapter Three: Turning Over Stones of Grey

They ran through a river of honey and didn't get sticky. The three of them (Snap was too busy trying to catch a horseshoe) ran down a hill and kept going for a long time until they came to a stop at the bottom of the hill.

Penny collapsed with exhaustion, and Rudy ran over to her, catching her just before she hit the ground.

"Are you ok?" he asked, and Penny stared at him. Her eyes glazed over. She must have been dreaming...she MUST have... Rudy was so dreamy...

"Pinch me," she spoke softly, her eyes closed as she puckered her lips.

Suddenly someone pinched her. She opened her eyes and it was Snap.

"WHY did you do that?" yelled Penny, and whacked him over the head.

"You said to pinch you!" he whined, and Penny grew a look of disgust.

"Are you STUPID? When people say "pinch me" they don't ACTUALLY want people to pinch them! Sheesh." She turned to Rudy, who dropped her. She landed with a thud and Rudy stood up, hands on his hips as he FROWNED at Snap! His frown was so powerful that a car alarm went off in the city.

"Wow..." Aer stared in amazement. "You didn't even speak."

"How dare you pinch Penny! She's my FRIEND you know! I know you guys don't get along, but would you just be nice once in a while?" To his expectancy, Snap had _ignored _him, and was clinging to his leg.

"Can I have some ice cream?" he whinged, poking out his bottom lip arrogantly.

"And STOP asking for ice cream!"

"He can't help it," Penny said, getting up off the ground and dusting her skirt off. "It's part of _normal Snap mode_."

"The Shroud!" yelled Aer, waving her hands about. "He's got Rap—"

"Shut up with all that plot crap," Rudy demanded, turning back to Snap. "How DARE you pinch Penny!"

"But she told me to pinch her!"

"I don't trust you _Snap,_" Penny said, standing up for herself like somebody brave who had courage and who was brave did. "But I trust RUDY not to listen to me!"

"What?" Rudy asked, having tuned out.

"See?" Penny demanded, and walked away, Spidge following her. Rudy just stared goofily at her, a dreamy smile extending across his face.

"Isn't she...wonderful? Don't you just want to grab her behind?"

Snap only asked for ice cream in response, and to that Rudy sighed irritably. He could _never _appreciate love. All he cared about was friendship. Where did THAT ever get anyone?

**fff**

Meanwhile, two friends found a cure for cancer.

**fff**

Dude held his letter tightly to his chest because apparently he can hold things with his drill bits. He looked into the sky and dreamed about what the letter said. Then he had a sudden thought: what if it was all just a set-up? What if his Real World admirer really was just a prankster, or worse...an old friend? Dude didn't know if he could handle a friendship right now. He needed romance, and romance alone. Then he stopped. What if...what if romance didn't want to be with him anymore? He shook his head, telling himself it was impossible. Then he began to dream about his admirer again. He pictured pretty electric drills and...large digging machines... Then he pictured her as an old fashioned, hand-operated drill. They were so old fashioned that he thought that the drill would probably prefer to apply her own oil, rather than going to a mechanic. He shuddered when someone ripped off his towel. He couldn't wait to meet his secret admirer.

He ran through the Real World like nobody could see him and said hello to a bird. Then he passed a tree sticking out of a building and knew he was going in the right direction. Then he thought to himself. He had no idea what that building was for, or where it was, even though he walked past it every day searching for his secret admirer. But he didn't care. It wasn't like anything but his secret admirer mattered anyway.

His wild goose chase led him to a school, and just in case his secret admirer was drawn on the chalkboard of any of the classrooms, he decided to go check. He hid from everyone by flattening himself against the walls because he's made of chalk, and then he went into the firs classroom by slipping under the door because he's made of chalk, and then he told the teacher, who was still grading papers, that he should give Rudy another detention because he doesn't like Rudy. The teacher said ok and left the room, then Reggie walked in. Reggie drew a chalk drawing of a drill and Dude was enthralled. He tried to talk, but all that came out was senseless babble. He tried to walk, but he falled so hardly. He tried to breathe, but he got a collapsed lung.

"Stop!" he yelled at Reggie, and Reggie looked at him. "Don't erase that maiden!" Dude ran to the chalkboard and began to kiss it. His lips rubbed all over it, and his saliva washed her away. He was horrified and then realised that he had erased her. She would show up in ChalkZone for him to continue to kiss. _'I liked that kiss...'_ he thought dreamily.

"Who are you?" asked Reggie, and he watched as Dude drew a portal with magic chalk but it didn't work.

"Aw, dust muncher!" he cursed, glaring at the chalk. Maybe that would make it work.

"You're not doing it right," he said, and Dude glared at him instead. "Maybe you should try listening to Penny. She can teach you how to become a better villain."

Dude just laughed. "What makes you think I would listen to HER?" But then he considered something. "Actually, it would make perfect sense why I would listen to her!" He didn't say why, but whatever the reason, Reggie knew that it didn't make sense.

"Why are you here?" asked Reggie with a rude voice. "I want to name my daughter Regina so I can call her Regi."

"I'm here to find my secret admirer. Have you seen her?"

"Wasn't that her on the board?" Reggie asked, and Dude nodded.

"I forgot, I kissed her troubles away."

"Wait," began Reggie, looking around in confusion. "If you got the letter earlier today, then how would your secret admirer be someone who I just drew when you walked in?"

Dude went quiet and narrowed his eyes. "You're a smart kid. Hey, do you wanna help me look for her in ChalkZone?"

Reggie shrugged. "Ok."

"Oh, by the way, I have to know you for at LEAST a day before I trust you enough to tell you about ChalkZone so...take this note and fill it in twenty-four hours from now, ok?" said Dude.

Reggie shrugged. "Ok."

Then Dude disappeared through the chalkboard. There was not even a portal.

**fff**

"I can't believe Snap pinched me..." Penny said to herself in woe. She couldn't understand heartless jerks. Suddenly she fantasised about throwing him out the car window.

Meanwhile, Snap was thinking about Rapsheeba. He missed her SO much because he had a massive crush on her (because Penny said so). But then he remembered that he would NEVER appreciate romance and instead thought of how much he loved ice cream, like a stupid toddler.

"Ice cream isn't MATURE," Rudy said angrily under his breath. "Neither is SNAP. He just laughs at our relationship for no reason... he just loves to torment us like there's no toofmorrow. I don't know how I put up with him." He shook his head and looked to Penny. She captured his attention like a crocodile catching prey that hung over their swamp in a cage, drawn there by their best friend and abandoned and doomed for absolutely no reason other than a really nonsensical prejudice which had nothing to do with anything at the time and shouldn't have influenced the day's events whatsoever, but did anyway. He laughed as he thought of a walking pie.

Suddenly a mechanical bird landed on their bonnet, and Rudy shrieked like a girl, turning left and right for no reason and nearly hitting a tree sticking out of the Future Dome (if it was Snap then he would have hit it). He looked to Penny frantically, and she had leaned in close, as if wanting to tell him something super intense. He knew this could be it. This could be the moment right before they died, and he had to keep looking at Penny instead of focusing on the driving, which could actually have helped them survive. Instead he continued to look into her dreamy eyes. She blinked, and when she had unblinked, she noticed that his eyes...were glazed over! She panicked, and he tried to blink it away, but it wouldn't work. He tried to steer, but he couldn't do it properly.

"What's happening?" Aer asked frantically.

Penny was thrashing in her seat. "Rudy's eyes glazed over!"

Everyone was sent into spasms.

Aer looked at her worriedly and shouted, "Mayday! Mayday!"

"NO," Rudy yelled at her, "it's AUGUST, not May!" He turned back and uttered, "_Idiot!_" under his breath. She mustn't have been in love with anyone.

Soon then crashed into a building in the city. Everyone was worried so they piled out of the car and Skrawl held Rudy against the wall while running down each floor. _Snap _and Aer (who even IS she? She's not me or Penny, so I don't know WHY she's even in this story!) were dragging Penny behind them, and she bumped down the stairs, losing her glasses several times. Luckily Snap had The Force so he called them back silently every time. he was too incompetent to have mentioned it at any other time, which is why nobody knew till now. When glasses were at stake...nothing was ever too secret to reveal.

Once they were out of the building, a giant crocodile ate it and vanished into the Wait N' Sea, or the Wait N' Flee, _Snap _liked to call it, because Penny's evil glares at the sand always scared everybody off.

Rudy took them to a restaurant. I bet you could guess what anthropomorphic animals there were serving drinks there. I would say wolves just to annoy FRENCH BOB (who is really dumb!), but that wouldn't be true to utter greatness, so I WON'T say that. They were scantily clad crayfish.

One of them approached him. "We're out of cliché."

"WHAT?" Rudy yelled, so loud that someone on the other side of ChalkZone got a collapsed lung. "No cliché on the menu?" He was so woed. "But...but we NEED clichés to run! That's PART of the story! (I know it's cliché, ok?) Come on, guys. We have to find the clichés."

So everyone left and went on a search. They looked everywhere, but Snap only got a bagel and held EVERYONE up, because for some reason they all had to wait for him before they began searching. They kept looking, and Snap got annoyed because he didn't want to look anymore. He only wanted to have bagels.

"I'm sure we'll find bagels, Snap," Rudy muttered, annoyed that everyone had started looking for them instead.

"Just...shut up!" yelled Snap with so much arrogance. "I don't want your optimism! I KNOW there are no bagels with poppy seeds on them so...just...shush!"

Everyone looked at Snap and gave disgusted looks. Random Zoners who walked by look at him disgustedly and muttered about how rude he looked. Snap was offended but then he wasn't because he _enjoyed _being arrogant. He was _way _too arrogant to not enjoy it. It was repulsive.

"I was only trying to HELP!" yelled Rudy, and Snap threw his arms in the air.

"Now you know how I feel!"

"Shut up, Snap! You're so arrogant!" yelled Penny, and hit him over the head. Rudy sighed. He knew he would have to break them up again. They were ALWAYS at each other's throats. They couldn't get along for one second. They hate each other. Did I make that clear?

BY THE WAY, PENNY AND SNAP HATE EACH OTHER.

(I'm just trying to tell you how much they hate one another, ok?)

Then Aer interrupted them all and pointed to a Beanie Boy. Then she complained that he wasn't even wearing a beanie. "What's it doing?" she asked, and everyone watched as it began to weld Kikis together... Rudy and Penny and Aer all had a feeling that Skrawl wanted to create one big Kiki out of the many small ones... But Snap just tripped on the stairs.

_A/N:__ And that's the chapter three! Wasn't it better than the original? Yes, French BOB, something can be MORE BETTERER if it's not the original!1111!111 So I hope you enjoy this. _

_AND I SAW THAT COMMENT ON MY OTHER STORY. THE REALLY, REALLY MEAN REVIEUW. I HATE YOU WHY DID YOU CALL ME ANNOYING? Have you MET __**Snap**__? Don't read my story if you don't like it!2 !11_

-Rudy Clone.


	4. Chapter 4: Between FEHds of Greenery

_**A/N:**__ AW, BUMMER! I broke my arm the other week and MAN, it kills like fifteen minutes with SNAP! Sooooo painful. But keep in mind that this did not disturb my writing! MY WRITING IS AS FIT AS EVER. Acknowledge my talent. Don't be obnoxious and ignore it like SOMEONE I KNOW!1 And yes, French BLOB, that applies to you too! ANYWAY if you want to sign my cast, please do so! As long as your name isn't Snap or Bob (sooooooooo common) ok?_

**Schemes of ROMANCE Red**

By Rudy Clone (The one and only!)

**Chapter Four: Between FEHds of Greenery**

They found a Beanie Boy and interrogated him about the clichés. He only writhed and jerked, but then Rudy tied him to a magnet and attached that to Spidge, who ran around in circles. The Beanie Boy smacked everyone in the face (especially Snap because he DESERVED it! But then it stopped because you're not supposed to feel sorry for him) and then hit PENNY! Spidge was so ashamed that she cried laxative juice and Rudy, who was horrified at what happened to Penny, watched her fall to the ground instead of catching her. He whirled around to Snap with anger that could outweigh an elephant.

"WHY did you DO that?" he yelled.

"I didn't do anything!" yelled Snap. But when HE yelled, it wasn't okay. It was rude.

"EVERYTHING'S YOUR FAULT!" yelled Rudy and Snap cried. But then you weren't supposed to feel sympathy for him so he stopped crying and insulted Rudy and Penny's love. Then it was personal.

Rudy did a flying kick at Snap and hit him in the jaw. Snap fell to the ground and blood POURED OUT ALL OVER THE FLOOR slightly. Snap grunted and stood up, shaking his head off by mistake (and he had to collect it and screw it back on) and glaring so hardly at Rudy. "You're going to pay for that!" yelled Snap and Rudy yelled, "Lucky you're only worth TWO DOLLARS-FIFTY, BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THE MONEY I HAVE!" Rudy yelled and Rudy ran at Snap and did a running punch at Snap and that's what Rudy did.

Snap fell to the ground and MORE blood spilled onto the floor, staining it with that red stuff known as blood! But Snap wasn't hurt because he was made of chalk and he had no organs and feeling in his legs (because he was only bleeding because Penny did an experiment on him to make him feel pain and PRETEND to bleed because she hates him), and because of the experiments mentioned in the brackets, Snap was fine and did another run-up to Rudy, who ducked as Snap flew over his head.

Rudy ignored Snap as he crashed into a garbage bin nearby and mentioned something about a giant fangs on tiny fairies and then Rudy bent down and wrapped his arms around Penny in a warm, tender embrace. He looked at her and he was so amazed... She was so beautiful when she slept. Rudy just wanted to watch her all day and all night when she slept. But he knew she didn't sleep during the day so he thought he might just hit her on the head to knock her out every time she woke up, so that she would sleep peacefully again. However, he couldn't find anything to hit her with when she woke up in his arms, in his warm, tender embrace and realised that she was so beautiful when she was conscious as well...so he decided not to do it after all. He thought he would be nice and not try to knock her out.

"Rudy?" she asked, and Rudy licked her nose. Penny thought it was cute. He was like a puppy! She started to scratch him under the chin and he beamed, wagging his tail as his leg spasm'd like dogs legs do when they're scratched and the leg instinctively wants to come up and scratch the part being scratched (don't I sound technical and smart?). Then he drooled because he didn't mean to.

Penny shot up. She look at him, horrified. "How...how DARE you drool on me!" She cried. Rudy had NEVER drooled on her before. She knew it. Drooling was a sign of...FRIENDSHIP! She KNEW he didn't have feelings for her! She ran away crying while Spidge was still running around in circles. The Beanie Boy threw up all over everywhere (except Penny and Rudy).

Then the drama was over and Penny and Rudy glitched back to the Beanie Boy, who hit them both another time before Penny went Toof Penny on him and punched his head. He fell to the group in a crumpled heap. She hoped she didn't keel him. "Tell us what happened to the clichés!"

But the Beanie Boy only warned her not to go to the bathroom alone in creepy villainbot-code as suddenly Skrawl fell from the sky. He landed in front of them and looked around, thoroughly confused. "...What am I doing here?" he demanded, tossing his glance left and right before it fell upon Rudy. He raised an eyebrow and pointed his finger. "Who the heck are you?"

Rudy was SHOCKED! "I'm Rudy! Your arch nemesis and you're a villain."

"I know who _I _am, you numbskull. But YOU are not Rudy Tabootie, despite your appearance." He rubbed his but buttocks because he falled so hardly.

"Do you wounded?" asked Aer and Skrawl threw a cat at her face. It was Jack so he licked her face (but accidentally licked it OFF so she had a blank face now).

"You, Tabootie intruder, use your magic chalk."

Rudy was about to whine and complain before he realised something. He still had his chalk! He knew Skrawl was a dangerous and formidable enemy, and he had to be on his guard at all times. He narrowed his eyes and brought out the chalk...and then drew flowers for Penny. He passed them to her and she blushed so hardly that she poured out red stuff. Blush powder.

Skrawl snorted. "You're DEFINITELY not Rudy Tabootie," he groaned. "I guess I'm in the wrong story..."

"Huh?" Rudy Clone said and scratched his earlobe. Then he found an earring on it and remembered the miniature Penny head earrings he had bought. He got his ear pierced in ChalkZone and his ear bled all over the tools so they disappeared and he had to redraw them. Everyone was so woed. He stroked the Penny earrings with a creepy smile and then remembered that he still had his buckteeth and she wouldn't approve of that. He needed to be HAWT.

Then Spidge ran up to Skrawl and jumped on his head. "BE GONE!" she shouted and laid an egg on Skrawl's head. Skrawl began to fade from existence, yelling, "If you see French Bob, tell him my 3DS is out of batteries and I can't send him a swapnote..." Then he faded. Penny looked at Spidge.

"I love you, Special Fridge."

Rudy gasped.

Penny hugged Spidge and asked her what she wanted to eat and Spidge said she wanted to eat rats and cockroaches and, of course, month-old sushi. But luckily she could produce that on her own by thaiing so hardly .

Rudy gasped. He stared at Penny. He could scarcely believe what was happening. She said...she loved Spidge. LOVED. LOVE MEANS ONLY ONE THING: romance. Penny was in love with another...thing, and Rudy...felt heartbroken. He was so mad at Penny for betraying him and so angry at Spidge for being the important third wheel. Then he remembered Snap and Aer. Then he forgot them and cried. If he had confessed his love to Penny then maybe..._maybe _she wouldn't have fallen for someone else. Just...maybe...

Then Skwarl appeared and pulled out a knife. The Beanie Boy lit up and flew over to him because nobody was holding him anymore. He tried to hug Skwarl but Skwarl just punched him in the face and sent him spiralling into the vehicle Skwarl appeared in: a reedy seat of goo! But it was a throne, although reedy throne of goo doesn't work as well.

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!" Rudy yelled at the narrator, and I was bigly offended. "This story is about ME! Focus on the ROMANCE." Then the narration smacked Rudy and then he cried, so then I gave him a special romance scene.

Rudy looked at Penny with loving eyes...and she looked back...

Then the scene ended and Skwarl threatened everyone and laughed crazily, saying that he had the clichés hostage somewhere they would never find.

"OFF TO THE LIBRARY!" Rudy yelled to separate Penny and Spidge, but it didn't work. Instead, Skwarl just tried to stab Snap and Aer, but nobody noticed. They were all too busy doing something that didn't concern the danger. Then they all went to the danger.

On the way there, they ran into a giant squirrel and the squirrel wanted to eat Penny. Snap, being a HORRIBLE, ARROGANT person, didn't even TRY to help her. In fact, he stood there shouting insults at everyone and began calling the squirrel fat. He called Penny a trumpet and Rudy...a triangle.

Suddenly there was no squirrel and it was just Rudy and Snap. They faced off with REAL guns and Mrs Tweezer was proud. "Why...WHY did you call me a triangle?" Rudy yelled as a tumbleSkrawlCloneweed rolled by whispering about parties.

Snap snorted. "I think you're a SISSY because you can't confess your love to Penny."

Rudy felt hurt by the comment and looked at the ground. "At least I can find things to DO in ChalkZone."

"HEY," Snap yelled, "I love finding new restaurants with scantily clad anthros!1 And...I HATE PENNY!"

"What has that—"

"I HATE HER AND I WANT HER TO DROWN IN KIDS PLAY PEN BALLS LIKE SKRAWL! She doesn't' DESERVE me. Nobody does! Go sail away with a heart shaped umbrella or something!321!112!212" he yelled.

Rudy yelled that Snap was being mean.

"You're being mean!"

Snap yelled that he's not mean.

"I'm not mean!"

Rudy yelled that he was.

"You are!"

Snap yelled that he wasn't.

"I'm not!"

Then they got into a slappy-fight. Suddenly Penny came over with a REALLY BIG GRUMPY FROWN and slammed her fist into Snap's cheek. He sprawled on the ground and began to shudder (but he wasn't hurt because he was made of chalk and he landed on the ground which is only chalk so it wouldn't hurt anyway). "THAT'S for ripping off my towel!" yelled Penny. Then she remembered she had ripped off his towel, which was why he was shuddering, but didn't care anyway.

"Wow..." Rudy said, his eyes glimmering with glimmer. "You're...my hero..." Rudy said and clasped his hands together. He stared dreamily into Penny's eyes and she looked back, watching Rudy's eyes like they were swirling pools of magic. She knew that if she fell into them...she would be lost forever. But she wouldn't mind. Then she could fall into his head and swim around in his thoughts. Then she could stalk him even harder and they would finally...be...together!

Suddenly Penny tore away from Rudy, blushing furiously. She held her hands to her chest and felt her heart beating so fast that it made her lung collapse. She starting breathing with only one lung. "Rudy I..."

She whirled around and saw him standing there in a tuxedo. Then she blinked and he was in a gorilla suit, and then when she blinked again, he was back to normal. She shook her head. _'Lovers' hallucinations,' _she thought to herself in her mind which only she could hear. She looked at Rudy continuously and suddenly saw him melt into the ground. She blinked again and then turned away because it was too weird.

"Penny...don't you...don't you love me?" he asked sadly, and she looked at him dramatically, seeing that he was still a puddle on the ground. "Wouldn't you...wouldn't you love me no matter what?" he asked, and Penny shrieked! She must have been dreaming...this didn't make any sense! "Wouldn't you love me...even if I was a pile of sludge?" She blinked in horror, blinking again...and again! She blinked so many times! She didn't know what to do. This didn't make any sense.

She turned away, tears in her eyes. "I can't...I'm sorry, Rudy! You're just TOO SLUDGEY!" She ran away.

He turned to Snap. "SNAP! I...I need your help with romance! PLEASE! I'm DESPERATE!" He shook Snap by the shoulders so hard that his head fell off. Skrawl put it back on and left for a tea party. "What did I do wrong?"

"Get OFF me!" Snap growled, swatting his hand away. "All you gotta do is buy her something she'll nice. Something nice. Like ice—"

"I'M NOT GETTING HER ICE CREAM!" yelled Rudy angrily.

"Get her an ice sculpture of HER," Snap said angrily, and Rudy glared at him angrily as if he were Kiki.

"Oh...ok," he said and didn't thank Snap. He walked away and drew a giant rubber duck. "We can fly away on this." Then Penny came back but didn't talk to Rudy and hopped on the duck's tail with SNAP. Snap was so disgusted that he told Penny that he loved her. She was sent into spasms.

**fff**

On the car ride to the place where they had been told the clichés would be, Rudy was thinking so hardly to himself about Penny. He was sure he loved her. He didn't know how he was going to tell her but...he knew that one day they had to be together. Snap was only a bother and he planned to get rid of him somehow...but so far all he could come up with was crocodiles and a swamp. But he didn't want to do that because he was only a clone, not a clone's clone. No...Snap needed to be out of their way, but it had to be through some other way...

Then he thought of something. He leaned over to Penny and started licking her ear because he liked earwax. "Hey Penny," he whispered creepily. Then he saw Spidge and glared at her. When he was done, he looked at Penny again, who was drying her ear. "Did you know that there's an ancient remedy for curing annoyances?"

Penny widened her eyes because they were about to hit a tree that was a giant high-heeled shoe. "Indeed," she began, starting to use big words, "the separate components each accumulate on special types of flora located in differing sections of ChalkZone."

Rudy cried. He loved her so much but sometimes it was like she was speaking another language.

She corrected her sentence. "The ingredients grow on trees."

"Oh...ok. Well...we can use it to get rid of Snap!" he laughed and laughed and laughed and he had his eyes closed so they killed a robotic messenger bird.

"I think that's a perfect idea!" Penny laughed and laughed and laughed and she had her eyes closed so she accidentally dropped her Kiki out the window.

But Rudy didn't notice. He dodged a giant sock tree, wove in and out of sleeve-branches of shirtrees, and flew over mounts of dirty clothes vegetation. Then the vehicle struck a ladybird and they were sent spiralling out of control until it got a collapsed engine and they smashed into the ground. Only Snap wounded.

Snap got out of the car and BLED ALL OVER THE FLOOR! But then the others got out too (Are was there but she's not important) and Rudy pointed to him with a neutral face. "You're made of chalk. You don't bleed."

Suddenly Snap stopped bleeding and began looking around, even if he still wounded. He didn't feel it anymore because it was too inhumane. "Wow," he sighed in complete awe, but then he was unimpressed because he's so hard to please and everything is boring to him. "This place just reminds me of suspicious green substances."

Penny glared sourly at him. "Well you don't need to rub these on your ankle." Snap shrugged at her and walked away.

"Now's our chance!" whispered Rudy sneakily and Penny laughed at how _adorable _his whispering voice was. She loved him so much. But then she remembered that they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend... She didn't even know...if he felt the same way as she did. In that minute, she cried so hardly.

"What's the matter, Penny?" asked Rudy with worry. "Are you crying because you're afraid we won't be able to find the ingredients for the remedy?"

"Yes..." she whimpered, lying to him. Then she cried harder because she lied to her one true love. She thought of Jacko.

"It's ok," Rudy said and patted her on the back. Suddenly she blushed furiously and her face went so red that she thought Snap would ask what that red stuff was. But...he didn't. Then she looked around. Because she hates him, she didn't notice he had gone. He was nowhere.

"We...we did it..." she whispered happily. "...there's no SNAP!" she cheered, and began to cheer!

"Wow...we did," Rudy said and stared at her maniac-ally. He was going to kiss the living daylights out of her...once he figured out how to _tell _her about his strong, powerful, Seyu-defeating love... He cried slightly darkly fireball.

**fff**

Slightly.

**fff**

Snap was so obnoxious that he arrogantly disturbed the villagers rudely. They called him names and yelled at him, but he just scoffed and huffed haughtily and told them that Normal Snap Mode deflected any insult. He was too stupid to understand that he was being insulted anyway. He just thought they were finding creative ways to compliment him. So he began to lead them to Rudy and Penny because he was dumb. When he got to them, he said, "I think they want my autograph because they're following me."

Rudy facepalmed because Snap was back. Aer had been ignored the whole time so she basically wasn't there at all and therefore Rudy and Penny had been ALONE until Snap returned... He was so angry that he put a hole in the car's third wheel. Then it had three working wheels so he punctured another. It deflated, as well as any other hope Rudy had to be alone with his beloved.

Penny hissed and told Rudy that because Snap had made the villagers angry, they needed to find a book about the remedy instead. So they ran to the library and Snap falled so hardly 398 times because he's incompetent (he even made the others fall too) and by the time they reached the library, his wound (which couldn't bleed anyway) was healed. Then he fell asleep on a park bench and everyone walked inside.

Then Penny remembered something irrelevant that made her cry and it was dramatic.

Once they arrived inside the building, they were surprised to see that Skrawl had been specially chosen as the knife shiner. They thought it might be Skwarl...and gasped.

**fff**

Meanwhile, Dude was still looking for his true love in ChalkZone. He could still feel her chalky lips and he licked of all the chalk and swallowed it. He liked the taste of chalk. Then he realised...he was a cannibal.

_A/N:__ I know the ending is a little weird but oh well! I bet you weren't expecting such a twist! And have sympathy for me because of my arm. ALSO HOW ANNOYING IS SNAP. I could just fold him up and lock him with my toenail collection, I swear. Anyway, I hope you liked it!11_

_- Rudy Clone. _


	5. Chapter 5: Royal White

_A/N: I saw the beeeeeest (beest) show the other day and I loved it sooooooooo much. It was about a HAWT girl who fell in love with a clone who was really really mysterious because he was creepy but since he was a clone, his DNA was messed up and he couldn't age so he could have been anywhere between 40 – 14389148923 years old, but she only found that ADORABLE which I thought was so cute...and then I got a crush on her (SHUT UP EVEN THOUGH SHE'S FICTIONAL I DON'T CARE and her name is Wussy, which is SO cute AND SHHH I STILL LOVE PENNY!) and then there were these SUPER EVIL BADIES who didn't like the clone so they tried to take his clone knowledge and he just lay there instead of trying to resist so the girl had to save him and so she saved him and then they nearly...well they got really close basically and then later, at the end of the episode, the people who tried to steal the poor helpless clone's clone knowledge began to kick the girl AND I NEARLY CRIED because she coughed up blood!112!1 So then I kept watching and then I had to watch the next one and the evil people made out (even though I hate them, I thought it was cute that they made out after beating up an innocent girl so I watched the scene fifty-three times) and then the clone appeared because he was invisible! And he made the bad people BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR and he beat the crap out of them because his love for Wussy saved her! And then she made out with his wrist (SUCH A CUTE COUPLE. I LOVE WRIST ROMANCE) and then I had to go. But I was SO INSPIRED to make this chapter. I hope it's as good as that show! Wait, what am I talking about. It's a story revolving around me and PENNY. WHY wouldn't it be as good, or BETTER?!11_

Schemes of ROMANCE Red

Chapter Five: Royal White

By Rudy Clone

Snap came running into the room and slipped on a feather and hurt his back. When he got back up again, he slipped on the carpet, and when he got up a third time, he slipped on nothing because he's that incompetent. "I HATE FALLING SO HARDLY!" he yelled, and everyone looked at him with disgusted faces. Ugh. They _hated _when he talked. He was just SO DARN ARROGANT and nothing he said could ever be taken seriously.

Then they figured out that it WAS Skwarl because he threw a knife at Snap and chopped off Snap's cape. Then it fell over and it wounded. Then Rudy laughed because Snap was naked around his neck. Everyone in the room including the chandelier stifled chuckles. But Snap was so arrogant that he thought they were laughing WITH him and his brilliance.

Suddenly everybody froze as a large figure suddenly rolled in. It was literally rolling on the floor, and Rudy pointed to it, laughing to Penny and teasing it. Penny blushed because he was talking to her. Then he blushed because he was talking to her. Then Aer blushed because nobody was talking to her. It was a sad blush, and she wished she had someone to times with. Suddenly she noticed Snap trying to put his cape back on (but failing, but we cannot blame him because, like Penny Clone (WHO IS BETTER!), he has no pupils with which to see). Suddenly her heart fluttered...and landed on a perch. Then it looked around and found some seed to eat, but it didn't have much water. So it flew out to the garden to drink some water, but then realised it was BLOOD.

Then Aer suddenly fell to the floor with a collapsed lung. Her heart had been beating so fast that it punched her lung because it liked Snap and Snap is a jerk, and then the lung collapsed and died... But because of her love, she healed and it was ok. And then...Aer felt something. She felt this warm fuzzy feeling and realised that because of her sudden want for romance...she had become an official character in the story! She cried with glee.

Then the large rolling thing stood up and everybody realised that it was Biclops dressed in a bird outfit. He had mangy feathers poking out of everywhere and he wore a strapped-on beak made out of cardboard. He smiled at everybody but his beak didn't. That's how they knew for sure that he was Biclops. Then he bellowed in his deep voice while flapping his non-existent wings, "I am the cockatoo queen!"

"Hi, Bicloop the Cycloop," Rudy said casually as he stepped forward. Everyone, even Snap, clapped for him because he could step. "Lead us to the library now so we can find a book ok?"

Bicloop was aghast! "How dare you accuse me of being a Cycloop when I clearly have TWO eyes! I used to have more but there was a flood and only two remained. And my name is not Bicloop! It is CockaBicloop."

Everyone stared at him. Even Snap who had no pupils with which to see.

"CockaBicloop?" questioned everyone in the room, even Snap.

CockaBicloop made a :C face. "I was born and raised in A Tyre Valley!" he yelled.

"A Tyre Valley?" said Penny. "I thought it was Attire Valley."

"No," CockaBicloop said sadly, "that's only in the version that makes sense."

"Ok," said Penny.

"Didn't you see that everything was covered in tyres?" he asked, but nobody had seen them so they all shook their heads. Then they kicked aside the tyre mites that had been bothering them for the past five minutes and pulled scraps from tyres from their hair. "So..." CockaBicloop began, clearing his throat. "Do you wanna...come see my hairy snowball collection?" he asked. Everyone, even Snap, said ok. So they went.

"WAIT!" yelled Rudy, and everyone, even Snap, waited. Then he yelled again to be dramatic but nothing really happened. Only three Real World car alarms went off. "Aren't you Biclooptoo?" he asked, and CockaBicloop sighed and began to chew on one of his feathers, and he hoped he wouldn't get the bird flu.

"Biclooptoo is my last name," he said.

"CockaBicloop Biclooptoo?" said Snap and everyone glared at him because he stated the obvious and he said it obnoxiously. Because he's rude. And nobody likes him not even flying pencils.

"CockaBicloop Biclooptoo?" asked Rudy and because it was him and not Snap who asked, everyone clapped, even Snap, who has no fingers either. Because he's made of chalk. And he's rude.

"Yes," CockaBicloop said and then he took a deep breath and spread his beautiful flabby arms. He got ready to fly but then ran off and kept his eyes closed, pretending he was graceful. He flapped his arms. He was so big that he ran really fast and nobody could keep up, so Rudy continued to whine at him the whole way through the castle. Finally they got there and Penny nearly tripped and everyone blamed Snap because he would do a thing like that, and then Aer caught her. But then Rudy glared at her and she said, "Fine," and released Penny and Penny fell and RUDY caught her this time and it was so romantic.

"Oh Penny..." he began, his voice beginning to shudder as if someone had ripped off its towel. "I...I love..."

_**Stray!**_

_**Stray!**_

_**In the cold breeze that I walk along**_

_**The memories of generations burn within me**_

_**Been forever since I cried the pain of sorrow**_

_**Live and die, proud of my people gaining**_

"Winding up toy cars?" asked Snap and Rudy kicked him in the spleen. Then he realised Snap had no organs. Because he's made of chalk. The only red stuff he bled was strawberry sauce, and Rudy thought it tasted bad anyway. Penny was sad because it wasn't green or suspicious.

"Look, birds!" shouted Aer because she wants to times which makes her important.

"My...family," CockaBicloop whimpered and shed a tear.

They were in the library now and Rudy had missed his chance to confess, which made him sad. Rudy cried tears of blood. Sad blood. Then he started to gush red stuff and sprayed the walls with it, and then CockaBicloop's establishment was shut down because the authorities thought it was a torture chamber. But when they tried to clean up the blood, it washed them away because they don't have blood and they're made of chalk so it dissolved them. So in the end, the walls had melted but the library was still there.

"Can we get the book already?" whinged Snap, who was whiny because he's a jerk.

"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TALKING TO PENNY?" Rudy yelled and Snap shook his head. "THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID AND BLIND BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO PUPILS WITH WHICH—"

"Would you shut up with that stupid pupils thing?" scoffed Snap, who was disgusted. Rudy was also disgusted. By Snap. "You're not even talking to her!"

"YES I AM!" Rudy yelled and looked at Penny, but she was gone. Rudy doubled over and cried.

_**I'm here standing on the edge**_

_**Starin' up at where a new moon should be**_

He cried so hardly that he dissolved the floor where he was standing, and a bird walked by and fell through. It didn't think to fly.

_**Oh-oh, Woah-oh, oh, Woah-oh...**_

"Excuse me!" shouted the receptionist, who was a hippy. She beckoned Rudy over. He went. "What are you looking for?" she asked with a slow voice.

"We're looking for a book on how to erase ANNOYING people's mouths," he growled and shot a glare to Snap. Snap only glared rudely back. "And, um...I need another book. A book on clichés."

"I'm sorry, we're all out of cliché books! We only have original ones here," said the bird, and Rudy scoffed.

"Yeah, right. Unless French BLOB owns this place, which he DOESN'T because he isn't in this STORY, then nothing in here is original. It's all cliché."

"Ok," said the hippy bird.

"Now can you get me that book?" Rudy asked.

"Ok," said the hippy bird. She sent out a multi-coloured bird and it flew over the bookshelves and circled above a pile of books. Rudy thought it meant something but it just kept circling, and after five hours, he wondered why it hadn't brought anything back.

Penny hadn't come back and he was getting worried because he hadn't seen her in that long. He NEVER went that long without seeing at least a picture of her. He had an alarm that went off every two hours so he could wake up and indulge himself in a picture (sometimes he ended up eating the picture while making out with it but he had fourteen thousand copies so he didn't mind) or watch a home video of when he and Penny had done something together. His parents didn't notice because they don't notice anything weird that happens. In fact, they probably thought it was normal.

_**Stray!**_

_**No regret 'cause I've got nothin' to lose**_

_**Ever stray!**_

_**So I'm gonna live my life as I choose**_

_**Until I fall**_

_**Stray!**_

"What is that bird DOING?" he demanded, but then he blamed Snap because he sounded rude. Snap woke up from a sleep and Rudy accused him of falling asleep.

"He's circling around," said the hippy bird.

"Ok," said Rudy. "But I have to see PENNY! Please go get her. Please. I can't do anything without her by my side..."

"I'll get her!" yelled CockaBicloop and began to flap his flabby arms again. He thought he was a good flier but he was just running, and he ran through some bookshelves. Some of them broke in half as he ran through them and others fell over. Rudy imagined him running through bookshelves to find Penny in a desperate hurry and suddenly found it very romantic. Suddenly he wished he had the power to knock over bookshelves. The hippy bird didn't care that CockaBicloop was destroying the library.

He couldn't find Penny so he ran through all the library and knocked over every bookshelf. He crushed several Zoners but they were instantly fine because they didn't have bones or organs or skin tissue and they can't be hurt, so they got up and walked away. Some of them even Bigweld Floor-Drilled through the floor. But when Penny still wasn't found, Rudy felt himself growing up and more worried. Suddenly he thought about how much he loved Penny and how he still hadn't confessed to her...

_**In the white freeze, I never spoke of tears**_

_**Or opened up to anyone including myself**_

_**I would like to find a way to open to you**_

_**Been a while, don't know if I remember how to**_

He wished he could tell her how he felt. He knew he had the clichés to worry about, and maybe finding Rapsheeba was the slightest Seyu fireball bit important, but he felt like...all that was so wrong. He just wanted to _confess!_ But...could he? Was he strong enough to speak those words? The words which would forever seal the bond between him and his true love...his _soul mate_...forever?

_**I'm here waiting on the edge**_

_**Would I be alright showing myself to you?**_

_**It's always been so hard to do!**_

"Rudy!" yelled Penny and Rudy turned in slow-motion. But by the time he turned, she had already come up beside him because she wasn't in slow motion. "I found the book!" she shouted with joy, and Rudy began to make out with her. Then he threw her on the ground and made out with her wrist (like in the awesum show I saw!1!) and she thought it was so romantic that she said yes when he mumbled if she would marry him and have tonnes of babies. He loved babies and thought their screaming was the best sound ever. He was so happy in that moment.

Then he woke up.

Then he cried because it was a dream.

Then he looked about because he realised he had no idea where he was.

Then he realised he was in the library and he had been knocked unconscious by the book Snap threw at him. He would have found the gesture romantic if Penny had thrown it, but because Snap did, that was a sure death sentence. He HATED Snap so much that he wanted to replace his head with a pumpkin. When he told Snap that, Snap only reminded him that pumpkins were for Halloween, and Rudy hated Halloween because on Halloween he had showed Penny his Jill-o-lantern and made her scream...and then Snap FORCED him to go with him to some dumb show about Jacko singing to a pumpkin. So he hated pumpkins because it tore him away from his true ten year old love.

Rudy looked at the book Snap had thrown at his head. He read the title. "How to Help Hostages?" He grew a dark frown of darkness and evil. "NO!" he yelled extremely loud. "Snap, this is wrong!" He threw it on the ground and it spontaneously disappointing arm-ed. It would never turn its own pages again. "I wanted a CLICHÉ BOOK, not a stupid hostage situation book!"

"But Rapsheeba—"

"RAPSHEEBA CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF!" yelled Rudy. "GOSH! Why do you ONLY care about yourself, _Snap_?!" he gave him a glare and then walked away, and then took back his glare because he hated giving Snap things.

He never understood this life... If he couldn't be with Penny, then why was it worth living? It wasn't...he wanted to give up without Penny but he didn't know where she was. The library was destroyed and everyone seemed to care. He didn't understand why...finding Penny was so much more important than a stupid library falling to pieces. He didn't care that it was part of the castle. Everyone (ESPECIALLY _SNAP_)was all so selfish! Why didn't anyone else understand how much he cared...about Penny?

_**Is there a place left here for me**_

_**Somewhere that I belong**_

_**Or will I always live this way?**_

_**Always...stray!**_

Suddenly Penny came back and Rudy was overjoyed. But then she told him she couldn't find the cliché book and he wasn't woed at all. He was just happy she was back. "Penny...there's something I need to—"

"Ok, you can go now!" said CockaBicloop, and Snap agreed. Rudy shut Snap up by making him eat mayonnaise on biscuits.

"Ok..." Rudy said sadly because he kept failing to confess. But Penny couldn't know now anyway! He was too scared to tell her...so he didn't. "Another time," he said to himself (outside his brain).

_fff_

In the flying car, Rudy was depressed that he couldn't tell Penny about his love for her. He didn't know when "another time" would be and he was too woed to think about it. He kept crashing into heaps of tyres that showed up around the place and dinted the car, and whenever Snap would tell him off, Rudy would turn around and scold him for being rude and then remind him of the random tree in the side of the Future Dome which he kept crashing into.

After CockaBicloop had said goodbye and accidentally destroyed the doorway because he was too tall and stood up, Rudy felt alone. He had Penny but...nobody understood how he felt about her. Snap kept complaining about the cliché book and Aer was constantly being unimportant. Rudy just wanted to be with Penny...

_**No regret 'cause I got nothin to lose (nothing to lose)**_

_**Ever stray-ay-yay-ay!**_

_**So I'm gonna live my life as I choose**_

_**Cause all things fall**_

_**Stray! Stray!**_

Suddenly Blocky was down below and he was waving his very simplistic arms which were simple and Rudy drew them when he was like three. He offered them muffins but Rudy declined, saying he was in far too much of a sad mood to even think about it. But then...Blocky said that he knew a place where lovers went and Rudy flew down to him immediately and crashed into the ground, fatally stick wounding the car. It blew up.

"What did you say?" yelled Rudy and Blocky did a fancy twirl.

"You can go to the lover's cave! It's at the Globe Theater!" he said and Rudy ran off toward the Globe Theater.

_**Stray! Stray!**_

_**Stray! Stray-ay-ay-ay-ay-yeah-yeaahh-ay!**_

Everyone followed Rudy.

_**(I walk along) **_

He was nearly there... He could taste the love, the romance! He wanted to bite a beret and chew on the material to annoy French Bob.

_**(Ooh, I'm here standing on the edge...)**_

_fff_

Skrawl got the cliché book and grinned.

"Insert cliché line here!"

He laughed like a maniac. He burped out a Kiki and then realised that he accidentally swallowed laxatives. There was no toilet in his cell.

_A/N: Phew! That really took it out of me! I was worried I wouldn't be able to complete this BUT I DID! I hope it was as good as that wonderful show... What was it called? ...False Red Stuff! Oh yeah! _


	6. Chapter 6: Golden Fail

_A/N: Oh my goshity gosh gosh, hello my reader-ies! *exited squeal* The reason I'm __**exit**__ing is because I'm getting out of range of that immature story Schemes of Red (YOU'RE MISSING THE BEST WORD!) and INTO range of my wonderful chapter that will actually be good, unlike that messy piece of IDIOT. I just want to grab its behind and shove it down someone's chimney and be like, "Here! Have this DUMB STORY." Actually, it'll be French Bob's chimney. MERRY FRENCH CHRISTMAS! _

Schemes of ROMANCE Red

Chapter Six: Golden Fail

By Rudy Clone (The Love Doctor)

Rudy ran toward the Globe Theater, hoping that he would instantly know where to go to find the lover's cave. Of course, he was sure that he COULD find it, because his love for Penny would surely lead him there, so he was quite excited.

When he got there, there was a stupid frog who refused to let him in. "I refuse to let you in!" he shouted. Rudy's face twitched until the frog thought he might have been being electrocuted, so he hopped off his perch and checked to see if someone was tasering Rudy, but nobody was. The frog was confused and returned to his perch. "What's with the—"

"SHUT UP I HAVE TO CONFESS!" he yelled and immediately tied up the frog with a black wig. The hair began to get between his toes and it tickled him so much that he started to bleed green goo. Rudy ignored him because he wasn't in love and rushed inside. He began frantically looking around for the lover's meeting place. He _had _to know where it was so that when Penny came inside, he could take her there and they could...they could...

He couldn't think about it without blushing and then tearing up. It was so emotional that he thought he might have to vent all his emotion out on a piece of paper, drawing beautiful drawings of Penny as princess of the wildebeest, and scribbling tonnes of hateful remarks about Mrs Sanchez and how she would never let Penny do such a thing. Instead she would want her to stay home and talk to someone ELSE on the phone...

Rudy began to get jealous. His face blushed hard with jealousy and anger and his crush for Penny and his hate for Snap and his hunger for marinated rhino tails. Suddenly he wondered if they served them at the Globe Theater bar. But then he remembered his jealously and searched the room until he found...some scissors. He grinned maliciously darkly slightly.

_**Sanctus Espiritus redeem us from our solemn hour**_

_**Sanctus Espiritus insanity is all around us**_

Meanwhile, Penny and Snap and Aer (now that she's in love, I might as well mention her), who had a crush on Snap (I have NO idea why. Trust me I think she's crazy!1), followed SLOWLY because Snap and Aer weren't good enough to keep up with Rudy. But Penny had an excuse because Rudy was in love with her. When they got to the Globe Theater FINALLY, they looked at a frog, who was in a bubble of green goo.

She looked with her pupil-less eyes and swiped a finger on the goo, then shoved it into her mouth. Aer and Snap thought it was normal. "Suspicious green substance..." Penny muttered urgently. "Rudy must be near!"

They raced inside and saw...

_**Sanctus Espiritus! Sanctus Espiritus! Sanctus Espiritus!**_

Thousands and hundreds and millions of pictures of phones that Rudy cut from magazines were stuck all across the walls, with giant BLOOD-coloured letters saying "Mrs Sanchez is a BIRCH!1!1hateblush!1!" on one wall.

He stopped in his cutting frenzy and looked at them. Snap and Aer had their mouths open like RUDE idiots, and Penny was staring blankly. Rudy thought she looked beautiful. "P-Penny," he said nervously, hoping she wouldn't take a fence. Or a brick wall. "I was just redecorating."

Penny only looked at him with this face:

and said, "It's great decorating." Then she did a long blink but nobody could tell because she doesn't have eyes.

"Ok, let's go!" Rudy said and they followed him down a random hall. He was sweating with nervousness. He was shaking with nervousness. He was sweating with sweat. He was then disgusted because he hated sweat, but then he grinned. "Hey Snap...do you want a hug?"

_**In my darkest hours I could not foresee**_

_**That the tide could turn so fast to this degree**_

_**Can't believe my eyes**_

Snap beamed and widened his eyes a wide as they could go. "A...a hug?" he wondered wondrously, his mouth opening with happiness. Out of everything in the world, he had only ever wanted Rudy's compassion and his understanding. Amongst all the ice cream he denied him, Snap knew that Rudy somehow...and _somewhere _had kindness. Rudy was his best friend in the world, and he wanted to share special things with him like hugs. He had seen people do it before but...never knew what it was like.

But anyway, after Snap felt all that dumb friendship crap, Rudy said, "Yes...a hug." He began to walk towards him and opened his arms, grinning slightly darkly. "Do you want one?"

Snap nearly shed a tear of joy. He was so happy...he was in such a heightened moment of blissfulness that he thought he might have got a collapsed heart. He walked toward Rudy and nearly burst into tears of elation as he shouted,

"NO!" Then he reverted back to Normal Snap Mode.

_**How can you be so blind?**_

_**Is the heart of stone, no empathy inside?**_

_**Time keeps on slipping away and we haven't learned**_

_**So in the end now what have we gained?**_

Rudy slightly snapped his fingers. He thought for a moment that he could have dissolved him a little bit and it would be painful like he deserved.

Snap called Penny something rude and Penny fainted from the overdose of rudeness. She put her hand dramatically to her face and fell very, very slowly, and opened her one of her eyes as she fell to make sure Rudy had noticed and had rushed to her side. But he was too busy being annoyed at himself for missing his chance to dissolve Snap, so she stopped falling and when he looked, she resumed her falling with loud, dramatic cries of woe.

Rudy _rushed _to her side and caught her delicately. "Penny!" he shouted woedly and in denial, shaking his head as if he was saying no to Snap after he asked for ice cream. Then he cried because Snap entered his mind and interrupted his precious moment with Penny AGAIN. He glared at Snap but then regretted it because he had fed Snap's insatiable desire to break him and Penny apart.

Rudy's eyes glazed over with worry. He didn't want to lose Penny...not after nearly losing her when he used her in a pokémon battle against Seyu. She had fainted and been taken to a Pokémon Center, and thankfully she had been okay. He didn't know what he would do if she...if she never woke up! The thought sent him into spasms.

_**Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour**_

_**Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us**_

_**Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,**_

_**can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?**_

"Uhh...what are they doing?" Aer uttered to Snap, but Snap, being as RUDE and arrogant as he was, only sneered at her.

"Shut up, Aer."

Aer would have felt her heart crush at that very moment but...she still had a crush on Snap. She always would and she would never give it up because...it meant giving up her relevance to the story. She didn't particularly want to be out of the story yet, so she tried to salvage her crush as much as she could.

"Ok," she said.

"Penny," Rudy cried again, holding her up. "I'm...I'm slipping!" Suddenly he dropped her and she fell against the floor, waking her up.

"Why did you drop me?" she said angrily. "Rudy, you're so clumsy sometimes!"

Rudy only smiled at her. He _loved _it when she talked that way... "Come on," he said, "we have to find the lover's—uhh...I mean...the...bathrooms."

Penny's eyes grew twenty-nine tears. "RUDY, NO!" she yelled, and latched onto his side. Suddenly he got butterflies and felt like flying around like a balloon that had been popped.

"Yes...Penny?" he said lovingly and turned around, holding her hands and gazing lovingly slightly into her eyes.

"Just don't...send me to the bathrooms...ALONE," she pleaded, leaking tears. "I...I can't bear it again."

_**Are they themselves to blame, the misery, the pain?**_

_**Didn't we let go, allowed it, let it grow?**_

"It's ok Penny...it's ok," said Rudy. He patted her on the head and then started scratching her behind the ear. She loved it and started kicking her legs. Rudy threw her a bone and she raced after it and swallowed it whole. She walked back and nobody ever mentioned it again. Ever.

They kept walking in search of the lover's spot when suddenly Snap veered off into another room. "Snap!" Rudy yelled but he was gone into the room he veered off into through its door. He normally wouldn't have cared, but he needed Snap in case there were dangers in the lover's place and he needed bait. He was too precious to be the bait because there would be no point in trying to find a way to tell Penny about his feelings if he was dead. And he could NEVER send Penny into harm's way.

"Come here, you guys!" he shouted and for a minute, Rudy thought he might have found the place where lovers go. He felt a jolt of excitement course through him excitedly.

"Just leave him," Penny told him annoyedly, but even though Rudy knew that Penny and Snap hated each other, he said he had to follow him and apologised, and followed Snap.

"Ok," said Penny and followed him in. Spidge also ran in as well because I suddenly remembered her.

When Rudy came inside, he saw Rapsheeba. "Oh hi," he said and she said hi back. "Have you seen—" Then Penny showed up behind him and he didn't want to mention it in front of her. "...powdered grapes anywhere? At...at all?" he asked, annoyed that he couldn't say what he really wanted to. Snap only glared at him in his typical Snap-like, arrogant way.

"Rudy, it's RAPSHEEBA! She was missing, remember?" he growled arrogantly, but Rudy didn't listen to anything but his arrogance.

"SNAP! Can't you see that SOME people have bigger problems than stupid kidnappings?" he yelled, waving his arms about so much that he broke them. He lowered them so they wouldn't fly off. He swallowed his pain and his love for Penny overcame it and they healed. "Stop being selfish for ONCE!"

Snap narrowed his eyes. "No."

_**If we can't restrain the beast which dwells inside**_

_**it will find it's way somehow, somewhere in time**_

_**Will we remember all of the suffering**_

_**Cause if we fail it will be in vain**_

"Oh my gosh Rudy..." said Penny and she looked to him, horrified, as if he had just swallowed her earlobes. Suddenly she realised what Rudy had done back in the main hall thing. She was a useless damsel in distress and she was also dumb sometimes even though she was smart, and didn't realise what was right in front of her. She walked into the wall while trying to walk away, and then moved away from it and tried again. She had the same luck as before and it made her nose squish into her face. It inverted. "How could you!" she yelled at him and ran away.

"PENNY!" shouted Rudy dramatically, and he reached out for her and grabbed her hand. But then her arm broke and he cried because he hurt her. "I'm sorry, Penny... I just wanted a caramel latte."

"What?" Penny shouted, sick of him not making sense. She then continuously flicked the light switch on and off until everyone was bigly annoyed. "That's what you get!" she cried and ran away, her broken arm flopping uselessly behind her and smacking into walls she ran past. But she didn't care. The pain was nothing... NOTHING compared to the pain of being betrayed by the person you love...and she loved Rudy...

_**Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour**_

_**Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us**_

_**Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,**_

_**can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?**_

Penny made a fortress out of all the phone cut-outs on the wall...and went to sleep in a bed of her own tears.

**fff**

"Has Skrawl got the cliché book?" asked Dude sinisterly.

"Yes..." his minion, Minion Dude, said back as he continued sewing a lace coaster.

"Excellent..." Dude whispered evilly. "I hear that tracking down your true love and secret admirer is a cliché these days...that book will surely help me!" He chewed on some chalk that was still left over from when he licked it off the chalkboard the other day. He had kept a few grains in his teeth in case he wanted to eat them later. He did. He savoured them.

Then he saw a picture of a Beanie Boy.

"UGH," he side (original spelling_ HAHA_!1) darkly. "They're so uuuuuuuglyyyyyyy! Do we REALLY have to hire them?"

"Yes..." groaned Minion Dude. "It's ok. They'll make good models for our summer issue." He held up a fashion magazine. "Your evil scheme to create clothes that aren't in fashion any more but sell them to people anyway...it's brilliant."

"Thank you..." chuckled Dude maliciously. "It's so..._original_, don't you think?"

"Yes, oh yes," said Minion Dude with three nods. "More so...than Bob himself."

They both laughed and drank gasoline.

**fff**

Rudy and Penny got back to the Real World and Rudy was in woed tears. Penny had forgotten all about what happened with Rudy, the phones and the thing he said about her mother, but he was worried that she would suddenly...leave him again.

_**Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour**_

_**Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us**_

_**Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,**_

_**can we break free from chains of never-ENDING AGONYYY?!**_

Suddenly Rudy's mother burst in and sung a number from her favourite opera. "Wasn't that beauuuuutiful?" she asked and Rudy face-palmed. She had ruined the moment.

"Yes, Mom..."

"Anywaaaaay, Penny, your mother wants you to call her. She told Rudy not to call though. Then she said something about not sleeping in the barn."

"Stupid Mrs. Sanchez..." mumbled Rudy Clone, and shook his fist at the floor.

Mrs. Tabootie had the floor executed for upsetting her son.

**fff**

When Skrawl arrived at Dude's house, Dude let him in and told him not to trust the strangers offering waffles. But Skrawl had already eaten some and he consequently spent an hour trying to get mini-Skrawls out of his ear. But they kept coming. Then he realised he had no ears. Then he was really, really confused.

"Do you want to go to Chalk Hawaii?" asked Dude curiously darkly, and Skrawl said no.

"I can't hula!"

"Sure you can!" Dude said maliciously happily and got up. He ordered that someone bring him a hula skirt, and he put it on, and then put one on Skrawl. Then he taught him to hula.

_**Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our SOLEMN HOUR!**_

_**Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is ALL AROUND UUS,**_

"I think I'm ready..." said Skrawl and Dude raised his head. "I'll give you the book if you teach me more about dancing. My clone is always busy organising parties and I want to know how to DANCE at one. I feel like I should give something back to him, you know? He's like a brother to me...but I hate him."

"You know who hates who?" asked Minion Dude from over somewhere else. "Penny and SNAP. They hate each other."

"EVERYONE knows THAT," Dude scoffed evilly and Skrawl scoffed evilly. They then had a scoff-off to see who could scoff the evilest, but they were interrupted when Minion Dude flipped through the book and told Skrawl to look at it. Skrawl looked at it and then Minion Dude put it away.

He stood up to say something special, but instead said, "I really like rhubarb pie."

_**Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,**_

_**can we break freeeeeeee from chains of never-ending agonyyy?**_

Skrawl thought it was so beautiful that he shed a tear.

**fff**

Then we found out Aer's working for Dude, trying to find his secret admirer but...nobody knew. She laughed so evilly and hardly that she slightly coughed up her lungs. They were, in fact, collapsed.

Then she remembered how pathetic she was in the presence of Rudy and Penny's love and she attached herself to a kite and flew away.

_A/N: I couldn't think of a good ending so SHHHH! Anyway...OOH, Dude's secret admiiiiiirerrrrrrr! I wonder who that is...find out that and more, on Schemes of ROMANCE Red, the BETTER VERSION (haha see what I did there heheha) of Schemes of Red... That's the brain dead version. You can tell because it's not full of romance. And it makes sense. _

_Eew. _

_Sense. _


	7. Chapter 7: A Rainbow of Feet

_A/N: Sorry this is shorter than usual but something happens in the chapter and it makes it shorter. Anyway the other day I got his package in the mail and I was soooooo excited because I wanted it to be a rose for Penny but you know what it was? it was a FRIENDSHIP BRACELET. From Ben. Do you know what I did with it? I THREW IT ON THE GROUND! Then I chopped it up and sent it back to him with an angry rant message on the back. I told him that he should eat those socks and I hope his heart gets stapled to the floor. And that he bleeds red stuff known as blood all over that floor. But since I'm so nice, I put a $50 voucher to Jerks R Us in the note so he can go buy a cape and gloves and whatever else SNAP likes to wear so I can hate them both. Oh wait...i ALREADY DO!_

Schemes of ROMANCE Red

Chapter Seven: A Rainbow of Feet

By Rudy Clone

Aer walked along a street in ChalkZone city as she walked on her feet (not her hands. Do you know some circus people work on their hands? I bet some ZONERS walk on their hands because they're _freaks_ and made of chalk). She tried to remember something she was told...

_Earlier that day..._

"AER!" yelled a frantic voice and Aer jumped out of her seat and hit her head on a watermelon leaf. She was knocked out slightly.

"Y...yes?" Aer asked and Dude's face popped up on the screen with eyes like this: O_O

"Pls help me! I can't find my secret admirer ANYWHERE so pls help me find her! PLS!11!"

"Ok!" Aer shouted so loudly. "What does she look like so I can look for her?"

"She's made of chalk!" Dude said.

"Ok," Aer said. Then she turned off her communication device and walked so hardly away.

_After the flashback scene..._

_as in, this is now..._

_at the current point in the story!_

"I hope I can find her..." But Aer realised that EVERYTHING was made of chalk! This made things slightly harder. But only slightly. Dude was a toof so she knew that she was basically looking for an arrogant jerk who was made of chalk. (So basically Snap in girl form.) She thought it wouldn't be too hard but actually she was wrong. Chalk made people into jerks...it was why Rudy and Penny never ate chalk things. As well as chalk food tasting like CHALK. Rudy and Penny were some of the nicest people in the world ever so they didn't want to eat chalk and be a jerk.

_fff_

"SHUT. UP. SNAAAAAAAP!" yelled Rudy. Then he shot up and looked around and realised that he had been dreaming. "Oh." He lies/lied/lay/laid/loid/limbo back down and saw that the time was 2:00pm and he had slept in alot. (He slept inside an alot.)

He had been having a dream about _Snap _and he hated it. Then he remembered that Penny was in his dream and they had gone shopping together and Snap had fallen in a fountain in the middle of the shopping centre. Then he realised... IT HAD BEEN A NIGHTMARE! Snap DIDN'T dissolve in the water!

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled, and then he got out of bed and jumped out his window.

_fff_

Aer was checking under a rock for Dude's secret admirer when she looked up and suddenly saw...an arrogant jerk! She was thrilled and cheered and then realised...oh. It was not Dude's secret admirer, but _Snap_, whose arrogant jerkiness had stood out amongst all the other CHALK Zoners. Aer sighed and then realised she was made of chalk so how could she sigh? Chalk water wasn't even wet.

She drank some chalk water. "Oh Snap...it's you!" she swooned and started to fall.

Snap ran up to her and held out his arms, about to catch her, but suddenly Normal Snap Mode kicked in and he let her drop to the ground. Then he laughed and called her crazy. When he was finished, he said, "Hi, do you wanna hang out with me?"

Aer looked dreamily at Snap (EEEW) and made him a picture with hairs she pulled out of her scalp. She arranged them prettily on the ground and it made a picture of a heart with "I love jerks" in the middle. Snap loved it so much that he got a tattoo on his neck for everybody to see, but because he's so DUMB, he forgot that his STUPID cape thing covered it up so nobody ever saw it (Hehehaha!).

"Where are you going?" asked Snap very rudely. He didn't even ask if he could ask her a question!

"I have to go find my boss's secret admirer," she said and rolled her eyes or "yes" as my favourite book would say! "Want to help me find her?"

"Ok," Snap said. "What does she look like?" he asked.

"She's made of chalk. She's also probably really mean and insulting and...well just look for you but a girl."

"Ok," said Snap with a happy face. "I am a jerk magnet after all!"

Suddenly he began to sing the Ballad of Jerkiness and Obnoxious Idiots to attract another arrogant CHALK Zoner, but after nine hours of nothing, Snap's voice was just horse (NEIGH!) and he had FAILED. (HAHA SNAP!)

Aer cried. She hoped her crush would be better than that...but no. He was a pathetic loser who was mean, a bully, mean, and really dumb. She suddenly wondered why Rudy had ever drawn him with a mouth. Or hands. Or ANYTHING because she was suddenly really bothered by him so much. But then...she felt herself start to slip away from reality. "Oh no..." she said worriedly. "I'm becoming redundant!" She threw her head dramatically toward Snap (then had to go get it again). "Snap...help me!"

Snap was too busy munching on biscuits. "Wha'?" he asked. "Do you want some?"

"Oh...thanks!" said Aer and took it happily. She looked at him dreamily and almost became a character again. But then...

"Here. Want some topping with that?" Snap held out his hand and squeezed some mayonnaise onto the biscuit. "This was all I could salvage from the food shorta—"

"SNAP," exclaimed Aer with a bigly annoyed tone. "I am a GIRL!" She threw the biscuits ON THE GROUUUNNDD!1! "You are such a JERK! You _know _how I'll feel if I'm around mayonnaise on biscuits!"

"What?" asked Snap as he chewed a biscuit. "I wasn't listening."

"Of COURSE you weren't!" shouted Aer and ran into a corner. Aer cried.

Because she no longer wanted to times, she shrank from existence. Snap stood there and he didn't care. Because he's a selfish jerk who cares nothing for the wellbeing of others. He took AGES (he's ALSO a slow eater) to eat his mayonnaise on biscuits and offered some to a bird but then tricked it and pulled it away. It was a cruel trick that only HE would do and the bird evolved.

"Congratulations!" a very peppy announcer voice guy announced peppily. "Your BIRD has evolved into a WOE IS BIRD!" he announced, and confetti poured out onto the floor and Snap slipped on it because he's not only rude and stupid, but also uncoordinated. He fell and hit his head. He got knocked out cold. Slightly.

_fff_

Rudy was pacing back and forth and woeing at the ground. Penny was in the bathroom and Rudy was waiting for her outside. He went through his many ways he had in his mind (that only he could hear) to confess to Penny but he couldn't think of anything... It was such an intense moment and then a person walked by. Rudy looked at them in slow motion and the person slowly mouthed, "I-think-you-and-Penny-are-adorable." Rudy made a heart shape with his hands. Then he thought about bursting into the girls' toilets and confessing to her then and there...how romantic would that be?

Rudy grinned as he pictured Penny's reaction.

_Inside Rudy's mind..._

"_I DON'T LOVE YOU!" screamed Penny so...so loudly. _

_In the real world..._

"NO!" shouted Rudy to the ceiling. The ceiling only said nothing. Rudy didn't know what to do...he was getting anxious thinking about it and suddenly wished he was in a dangerous situation so he would know what to say to Penny and finally confess. Maybe if he rung up Skrawl and made the ksuyan chase him again...just maybe...he could confess. It could happen. "NO," Rudy shouted, disgusted that he would think of ChalkZone. "That's where SNAP lives."

Snap was so obnoxious.

_fff_

Snap went on a flying fox and blah (I can't be bothered writing any of this because it's boring adventure crap whateverrrr!) then he found some colourful mini-Skrawls and went other places. He flew back to ChalkZone then got arrested for calling a policebot a birch. And nobody could help him because Aer had vanished from the chapter, rendering this chapter pretty useless!

The Kiki had to go with Snap and she also got captured because she was handing out too many laxative jars. It was way too rude to go unpunished. Snap was arrested for his general attitude.

"You need an attitude adjustment!" called the officer (he worked at an office) told him. He was a respectable Zoner, even though he was only made of chalk, and Snap's hands were in cuffs (even though they were made of chalk) that gave him singe wounds.

Snap refused to response the policebot and he began to sing about Penny. It was about how she was crazy and ankle-brained.

Penny Toof Penny'd him all the way from the girls' toilets. He got knocked out slightly.

_A/N: Hahahhahehehehohohoflop SNAP deserved THAT! That's what he gets for being in too much of the story. Sorry Rudy and Penny were barely on this. DON'T WORRY I'LL GET TO THE GOOD PARTS SOON! Read my other RudytimesPenny stories in the meantime...I did BEAUTIFUL art for them! _

_REVIEUW!_


	8. Chapter 8: Slowsilver

_A/N: Oh my GOSH guys, I'm so sorry that I haven't been writing much lately! I've been WAY too busy writing THE BETTER VERSION, but now that that's finally DONE (and Cryptic Investigation has NEARLY been redeemed...nearly...) I can focus on making Schemes of Red actually GOOD!1 Well I can try. I mean, it's gonna take a LOT of work. But I'm Rudy Clone! I can do it, or my name isn't Rudy Colne! _

Schemes of ROMANCE Red

Chapter Eight: Slowsilver

By Rudy Clone

Rudy cried as he stared at his paper. His elbow Bidwell Floor Drilled into the table. Suddenly he wondered if rabbits lived down there and he asked his mother.

"NO!" yelled his mother, and because she was SO MEAN (like PENNY'S MOM but not as bad) she said he was banned from going into his room and using his chalkboard for hours.

Rudy cried.

"MOM I HATE HOMEWORK IT'S BORING!" yelled Rudy. His mother stopped reading_ Ignore When Your House Gets Blown Up _and THREW IT ON THE GROUND! It burned a hole through the floor and struck oil, which shot up through the floor and hit the ceiling. They were both covered in oil but Rudy's mother didn't notice.

"Go to your room!" she yelled, and Rudy tried to tell her that they were rich and struck oil, but she only punished him with pictures of Snap.

He left the room angrily and went to his room and stomped ALL the way there. However, the oil had sprayed so hardly throughout the house that it stained his door and dried all sticky. Rudy tried to open his door but it was stuck fast, so he THREW HIMSELF ON THE GROUND! and tried to roll up the door to open it instead, but he only got stuck on the sticky oil instead. When he got stuck, he yelled angrily and flailed his arms around even though they were stuck. (And it's MUCH stickier than CHALK oil.)

"This is just GREAT!" he yelled and thought about Snap. Then he laughed. "I hate him so much haha!" Then he laughed some more and then...

...He stopped laughing. He wanted to call Penny. He was still deathly afraid of her mother, but he still...wanted to summon the courage to tell her that he loved her. It would take a lot of love power, but maybe...maybe he could draw on their infinite ten year old love to confess to her! He began to cry when he realised that, if he was stuck to a door...he couldn't CALL HER!

Rudy broke down into tears. He cried so hardly that he ran out of fluids and shrivelled up. He became... Prune Rudy.

_**Helpless child, stained soul  
Never woke this morning  
Freak show goes squeeze reload**_

_fff_

SNAP was stuck in a prison because he deserved it and he was arrested for being a general feh-head. He satin his cell and glared at everything around him rudely because he had no consideration for other people (oh wait these aren't people, they're made of CHALK! Just roll with it guys). Then he saw someone in a cell and glared super hard at them on purpose, and they melted under his harsh glare of arrogance.

He paced back and forth and then suddenly his knee buckled and he fell onto the floor and began to BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR! and then he stained the walls with that red liquid known as blood, staining it IMMATURELY as it flowed out of his body like a fountain. He rolled around on the floor bleeding all over it and the walls and he reached up, trying to get everyone to help him because he's THAT self-centred that he thinks people will CARE if he's injured. When everyone ignored him, he called them all arrogant jerks and then began to suffer from Hypocrite Disease, which struck his lungs first and made them collapse.

"HELP ME!" he screamed selfishly, a rude tone to his voice like he EXPECTED someone to help him. Then a guard came inside and gasped as he saw Snap bleeding all over the floor and staining the walls with red stuff.

"Oh no!" yelled the guard and ran up to the bars and gripped them. Snap looked at him in agony. Selfish agony. "OH NO!" He slapped his chalk hands to his face for dramatic effect. "You're...you're getting the floor all RED! It's meant to be SILVER like the colour of this chapter. Don't you have ANY consideration for what others want? How will the chapter name fit now!"

"Please..." began Snap, spraying the guard with all his blood. But he guard scoffed (and then got some blood in his mouth) at him. "I need help!"

"SHUT UP OR I'LL FEED YOU TO THE SLUGS!" yelled the guard, waving his taser. He accidentally pressed the button and it made the blood electric and Snap's blood stained the ground with sparks as well as redness. Then the guard glared at him and Snap got a glare wound.

_**Random assassination  
Southern heat tragedy  
Left sweet Atlanta shaken**_

"PAY ATTENTION TO ME I'M RUDY'S BEST FRIEND!" Snap yelled so loudly, USING Rudy for his own selfish self-gain. It was such a typical thing for him to do, use Rudy like that, like every time he wanted ice cream. "COME OOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN," he whined and annoyed everyone in the prison cells, including the fat Misty Zoner.

"NO!" shouted the guard and told him that unlike thieves and murderers, JERKS didn't get privileges in prisons. They deserved to be there, and especially SNAP deserved to be there.

Luckily (well, Unluckily but then again I don't want people to feel sorry for him so kind of licky) there was a park bench instead of a bed (NOBODY thought he deserved a bench because they are a bit more sensibler) against the wall so he crawled up to it, spraying more of his blood onto the guard who was standing near his cell, and then stopped crawling like a helpless dumb BABY (nah just kidding I love babies, especially if its me and Pennys baby hehe hAHAHAHA! _*blush blush*_) and rested on the park bench. Slowly his blood fountain began to stop and then it stopped, and Snap stopped bleeding slightly.

"Ahhhh," he said arrogantly, pleased that he was not bleeding anymore. He had no consideration for what other people wanted. Then he started to get angry that the Kiki was not near him and he realised that he needed an arm rest. He panicked and began to run around in circles, but he slipped on the electrified blood and slipped over again, BLEEDING ALL OVER THE FLOOR more than before and spraying the park bench. But it dried up instantly because it was a park bench.

The guard quickly called Rudy and Penny and Rudy didn't answer because he was a prune (DON'T WORRY GUYZ! I know your worried right now but Rudy will make it...don't worry...he'll make it because of his love for Penny! (Not spoiling anything)) and Penny answered after convincing her mother that the guard wasn't Rudy.

"Make it quick," said Penny because she wanted to hurry up the part about SNAP and because she was angry that Rudy hadn't called her.

_**The world is talking about you  
Not your private holy war**_

The guard and hung up. That was pretty quick, he thought proudly.

Penny stared disgustedly at the phone. She Snap Glared. "Rudy will get you later..." she hissed, and began to slowly morph into a snake. _"Ssssssssoon!"_ Then her mother knocked on the door.

"Pennyyyy! GET OFF THE—" Then she saw that Penny was off the phone. "Oh haha you're a snake now." Then Mrs. Sanchez (what an IDIOT no offence Pneny!) reached into her pocket and pulled out a frozen mouth. Penny hissed excitedly and twirled around several times and opened her mouth. Mrs. Sanchez laughed at her and said that the mouth was for her and she ate it, and Penny had nothing. Her evil mother laughed more and went out of Penny Snake's room and Penny cried tears of venom because she was a snake.

_fff_

Aer walked in limbo. She had no idea where she was because she's dumb (like anyone who isn't in love) and she saw ghosts of other characters who were not in love...so many of them, she thought... And they were being put every second into limbo. She GAPSED. Then she realised that it all made sense. Only MATURE people were in love. And ChalkZone is bigly immature, so how could ANYONE be in love? It was why Penny and Rudy had to leave. Their maturity was staining ChalkZone (not that they cared) and causing everyone who was not mature to migrate into a disturbing limbo that meant you weren't mature.

That's why Aer was there. She hadn't even bled all over the floor ONCE, and as well as that, she just GAVE UP on her crush (well it was SNAP so I don't blame her) which means she's not faithful to the sacredness of love...

Suddenly she met her brother somewhere and they discussed mini-Skrawls and feh I don't even care.

BUT WAIT!

_**Bible belt night explodes  
Cultural mutation**_

They were planning a scheme to destroy SNAP and make him into the colour of a mini-Skrawl so (I thought that's so so funny and haha Snap u suk!) then the scene got worth writing.

"Anyway, let's stop talking about this dumb stuff that has something to do with the plot because plots are like blood clots. They get in the way and they TRY to be mature but only one part of them is mature."

Aer looked at him confusedly because she's not in love so she's dumb. "What part of a plot is mature?" she asked because she was confused because she's so stupid.

Ison brought out a piece of paper and said, "the L for love." Aer nodded and understood and looked at the letter that her brother had brought out and was holding it in his hand with his fingers. Before she could waste more story space with her dialogue, her brother answered: "This is one of the love letters sent to Dude." Aer walked up to him interestedly even though she's not interesting because she's not in love. "We must figure out who his secret admirer is."

"But I'm dumb! I don't know anything about love. I mean, I even gave up on my crush because I thought I would still be important if I wasn't in love."

"What haha you're so dumb," said he brother. "Why are we brother and sister again?"

"Well are YOU I love?" yelled Aer and her brother frowned so hardly. She did a dramatic stare at him and nearly cried tears because she had to keep her eyelids open so long and it was beginning to hurt.

Her brother just stared at her. "No..."

Then he vanished from the story.

_**Deadly seals soon unfold  
Atlanta's heart is breaking**_

Aer sighed. She was sick of being out of love... She decided she wanted to fix that. But first she wanted a hotdog so she glitched to the Future Dome to get one.

_fff_

Rudy was stick stuck to his door because he was a prune, and he tried to get off it so hardly like he got off the phone all the time, and then thought about the phone that he had to get off all the time. "Oh, the phone..." he said to himself even though there was nobody else there which was why he said it to himself. "Oh I need to call Penny!"

Because Rudy loves Penny, he peeled off the door and quickly went to hydrate himself and then picked up the phone and hoped with all his heart that Mrs. Sanchez would be out, or at least not standing by the phone. Just as he was about to call, the phone rang and he cried because he was frustrated because he wanted to call Penny but the phone started ringing instead. After he cried and got a tissue and wiped his nose and fell asleep for a few minutes and woke up and ate some almonds, he answered the ringing phone.

"RUDY TABOOTIE!" yelled Mrs. Sanchez and Rudy cried slightly as he realised that she had beat him to it. Her Rudy senses had probably tingled and told her he was about to call.

But before she could say anything, Rudy hung up on her.

_**(The truth lies buried, beneath our feet)**_

"HA-HA MRS. SANCHEZ!" yelled Rudy into the phone and then he heard sobbing. He thought it might have been Penny but then realised Penny wasn't there so he cried slightly. Life was so hard without her...

He turned around and it was his mother crying. Rudy got worried because she looked sad. Then he remembered he only cares about Penny and didn't care that his mum was crying. He just shrugged like a cool person and said, "What Mom...you're embarrassing me."

"I'm sorry I'm sorry..." she sung in that WEIRD opera way that makes her sound like an opera singer. (SERIOUSLY GUYS, what's up with her dumb opera voice? I don't get it!1 Why does she SING? Is it because her voice is too brocken to talk? UGH if she had a voice as byooteefull as Penny's then maybe she wouldn't HAVE to sing like a weirdo-baneirdo. (Do you like my insult I came up with it myself hehe haha!)))))

"Wood you just tell me Mom instead of being a cry baby about it? Gosh I never cry..." Rudy tried to erase the previous paragraphs where he cried but it didn't work.

"It's just...WAHH! It's just...I'm crying because Mrs. Sanchez hates you and you just hung up on her!" she sung in that WEIRD opera way that makes her sound like an opera singer. (Seriously guys...this is starting to annoy me...but don't worry, not as much as single people!)

"So?"

"You're throwing away your chance to have a family with Penny!" she screamed in that WEIRD opera way that makes her sound like an opera singer.

_**The world is talking about you  
Not your private holy war**_

"No Mom. Gosh your sooo dumb!" he laughed slightly like a nice person. (Because laughing MORE than slightly would be jerky like...well you know who!) "We're just going to hire Rudy Clone Clone to dress up like Snap and go murder Penny's mom for us so she doesn't get in our way."

"Oh, ok," Mrs. Tabootie said in that WEIRD opera way (ok you know the rest) and got up and walked off. suddenly Mr. Tabootie walked in and sat where his wife had been. (Ok they would speak on different lines but they're MARRIED...they're one soul and one body and one character...so they can use the same line hehe how cute, right!) "But wouldn't that mean he'd kiss Penny and kill her too?"

"OH MY GOSHNESS!" yelled Rudy SO loudly that he slightly cried slightly. "KISS HER? NO! No he can't kiss her no...no no no no no," he said quickly and worriedly and urgently and worriedly and slightly quickly. "I didn't think this through...oh no..."

"Well..." began Mr. Tabootie, "and also kill her—"

"I CAN'T believe I didn't think of this!" Rudy shouted like a woe is bird who was going down and about to crash into a pile of empty laxative jars. "He's going to kiss her... my EVIL MATURE CLONE IS GOING TO _KISS_ HER?!"

"And kill—"

"I can't let him kiss her, I CAN'T," yelled Rudy as he paced back and fourth and fifth and sixth and looked nervously at the phone. Memories of Ms. Sanchez's EVIL voice echoed through his mind...

_**The world is talking about you  
Not your private holy war**_

Suddenly he knew that he had to call Penny and set out trying... He slinked up to the phone like Penny Worm and grabbed the phone with his hand so hardly. He tried to summon the courage to call her but then chickened out. "Why is this so hard..." he whispered and tried again, but he only got three numbers before getting a collapsed lung. He was that nervous.

_fff_

"YOU SUCK!" yelled Snap as his bleeding refused to stop, evilly aiming his arm at them after he demanded RUDELY to his body to make all his blood come from his arm like a disappointing wound, and covering them with his LIGHT (not dark) blood. The Zoner he pointed his blood at began to cry. He laughed darkly slightly evilly because he's mean and loves to enjoy himself at other people's expense, and turned to his next victim, who happened to be on the other side of the room or something. "HAHAHA, your creator had NO clue how to draw!" he yelled so loudly and hurt the drawing's feelings (but it was ok, it was JUST a chalk drawing!) (... But Snap's still MEAN because he THINKs chalk can feel but really it can't. ) and the drawing that was made of chalk cried into his snowman hands. Then he looked at a black cat with some white in places. "Your colour scheme is DUMB!" he insulted.

Snap looked at his NEXT target and grinned like a jerk. It was a FEMALE tiger and Snap hates girls, so he yelled and screamed at her and insulted her buckteeth. She was so woed that she collapsed like a lung and cried a pool of tears which mixed with the blood she cried out of woe.

_fff_

Suddenly Rudy felt his Jerk Senses tingle. He shot up and glared around at everything rudely like Snap. He could sense that Snap was being an ESPECIAL jerk and frowned _darkly_.

"SNAAAAAAAAAP!" he yelled so loudly and summoned his powers, Toof Pennying the ground and making it shudder as if someone had ripped off its towel.

_fff_

Snap felt a shudder in the ground and looked around in case he could see a towel. Instead the ground suddenly grew a large hand and punched him in the face, knocking his (DUMB) mask off his face. Everyone GAPSED as he landed on the ground and they realised that he even LOOKED like a jerk. Snap got up and muttered how much he wished Rudy would focus on what was important and draw him ice cream (SERIOUSLY WHY IS HE SO SELFISH? I mean I know I'm writing this but SHEESH!).

Because Snap felt so dumb about how dumb he was, he called everyone else dumb and they cried, but he didn't care because he wasn't friends with them. (Even if he was, he would still be a JARK!)

Snap turned around and bled some more, firing his blood at the walls of the cell because he didn't like the colour of the walls. Suddenly he was bleeding so hard and loosing so much blood that he broke down a wall and a werewolf walked in, and so did the sad tiger.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Snap yelled rudely, covering them in blood as he waved his hands around.

"No!" they yelled, but Snap punished them with more blood so they cried.

_**(The truth lies buried, beneath our feet)**_

"I SAID GO! Rudy is my FRIEND and he draws _me _ice cream... What are YOU going to do about it?" Snap yelled smugly.

"We...we want to say sorry for being incompetent!"

"NO, I'M THE INCOMPETENT ONE!" yelled Snap rudely, being an idiot because he thought that was a GOOD thing and he only ever wants to be better at things than other people. How. Arrogant.

"Ok," they said and got pushed back because of all his blood. They thought about attacking him but one, the blood made them too mature to do something as childish as fight, and two, I don't want to make it seem like SNAP deserves any sympathy for being beat up. So instead he beat them up and they bleeded everywhere, their blood pouring out of their mouths and staining the ground, their blood mixing together in a pool of blood underneath them.

Snap was being so obnoxious that he was moved to another room.

_A/N: UGH, I HATE ending chapters with Snap but he's so duuuuuuumb that I had to keep showing you so you get the picture... I'm not sure if I show enough bias toward every character that isn't him (EVEN if they're chalk) but I hop skip jump you can see why I HAT him so mutch!1 N-E-way, I'm going now so byyyeeeeeeeee! Stay tuna! AND REVIEUW! And I love deadly seals. _


End file.
